>around me. I think it will be present more times than not.

Could be a reflection of your surroundings. Doesn't mean that's how it has to be.

>Even if there are ways to address I don't think that means
>that it isn't commonplace.

Being commonplace doesn't mean that's how it has to be.

>I also don't buy the notion that it boils down to what's
>effective.

I mean what's the measure then?

>A mother and a nanny aren't equals and I don't
>think the best idea or most effective idea prevails.

I say they should be. If one just thinks of them as hired help it will dictate the nature of the relationship. Yes they are being paid, but they are being paid to be an important part of a child's life. They may end up spending more time with the children than the parent, in which case they will be a better judge of what's effective. If a parent hasn't hired a person that they can trust to make those decisions based on their experiences not just what they are told the grounds for the tension and breakdowns are there from the start. They are becoming an integral part of a family. Treat them as such or yeah there will be resentments.

>For one, there usually isn't a best way to do things when it
>comes to raising kids. There are tons of ways to skin a cat
>and alot comes down to preferences.

Meh.... that sounds like bullshit. And no I'm not saying there is a best way. I'm just saying its a fuck ton more than just personal preferences.

>If it comes down to preference then the parents way usually
>and should prevail.

Over the person that's had years of experience with children and spends more time with the children than the child? If someone can't take honest advice from the nanny, they probably shouldn't have one.

>Are you really having extended back and forth's with your
>nanny about the best way to raise your kids?

No I'm asking the nanny about what she observes in the kids. What she's doing that is effective, and what suggestions she may have for them.

>I don't think it's my way or the highway but again, parents
>and nannies aren't equals when it comes to child rearing
>practices.

Again when you're talking about someone who may end up spending more time with the kids than you yourself, I'd suggest building a trust that can give them some equal footing.

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Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."