my lil cousin has been laid up in the hospital for months now. leukemia.

all kinds of infections along the way.

trying to qualify for some type of clinical trial.

gets in it, only to be told its not working and theres nothing else that can be done.

hes 25.

two young kids, married.

i watch him in the hospital bed, just frail, a shadow of his former self, surrounded by aunties doing the prayer circle thing.

but hes going. i mean soon.

and ive just accepted it.

i mean, i know its fucked up on all levels.

good dude, young wife, young kids, just bought a house and hes never even lived in it. its the type of shit that makes you angry as fuck or just breaks your spirit with sadness.

but i don't feel either. and i like him, i have no ill will towards him...but i know that shit happens. shit like this. to random people. and it just happens to be him right now. and i cant help him, with tears or prayers or conversation. so i am just going on with my life.

does that make me an asshole?