Oh niggas I thought I was DONE for. But the doctor emailed me my results: not pregnant
I felt like the men on Maury when they find out they ain't the father. Survived another month!
I gained 7 pounds in 4 weeks and was constantly nauseated. I'm probably just hella lactose intolerant.

*moonwalks with a whiskey shot*

And why is my doctor so fine? He has this sorta ethnic ambiguous type of thing going on.
He's tall, very fit with a baby face but has lots of silver hairs running through his mane.
He looks like maybe he's white, but one of his parents or grandparents is Asian. He's a walking gorgeous oxymoron.