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Forum nameGeneral Discussion
Topic subjectDamn. my ex has a 4 year old that has two to three days of life left.
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=12686616
12686616, Damn. my ex has a 4 year old that has two to three days of life left.
Posted by Cold Truth, Mon Dec-29-14 06:43 PM
I dated my director’s daughter about ten years ago. I actually took her virginity (at age 24, mind you) and I was given the task of telling her mother- my boss and mentor- that I was the one who finally did that deed. We were that couple who was very compatible as human beings despite heading in very different directions in life.

We remained relatively close after our split, though at a distance if that makes sense. We had a particularly intense chemistry that would have lead to further sexual escapades and an on-and-off situation with a significantly more painful end. Thankfully, we maintained a piece of that bond with sufficient distance to prevent us from digging ourselves into relational hell, and we both found love and marriage elsewhere. We count ourselves as friends to this day.

Their firstborn was a boy who is happy and healthy to this day. Her second was a girl who was born with some sort of defect that gave her a couple of years to live.

On one hand, this is longer than she was projected to live. We’ve known this was coming from the beginning and once in awhile I’ll see the latest update on FB and there have been a few scares. This seems like the real deal, end of the line though. I don’t quite know what the problem was at birth as I’ve never actually asked. But she’s always been on a tube of some kind and as of now she’s lost 60% of her kidney functionality. Anyhow, my ex has been a champion of a mother from the start. It’s damn near textbook how she’s handled even today. We’re all born to die, but I cannot imagine birthing a child only to be tasked with carrying them through death from the very beginning.

I suppose I’d feel for anyone who endured this with their child, but damn if this doesn’t strike a particularly personal chord. Her mother was a mentor of mine and really gave me an opportunity that ultimately allowed me to have the job I have right today. We shared a relationship that is fondly remembered even if it didn’t quite work, and it fucking sucks to watch this unfold. Happy new year.
12686621, Wow. Sorry to hear that, fam.
Posted by daryloneal, Mon Dec-29-14 06:48 PM
You're right, that's a rough situation for anyone to be put through.

It's hard enough for a woman to deal with a miscarriage, but to actually have the child knowing the entire time that that time will come is heartbreaking.
12686632, It’s surreal, like something out of a Lifetime movie.
Posted by Cold Truth, Mon Dec-29-14 07:01 PM
I’m the sort who looks at the world and believes people tend to buckle down and do what has to be done in these situations, but the way she’s conducted herself seems preternatural even by that standard. Obviously I’m not privy to private breakdowns and moments of complete weakness, but it just seems like she’s dealt with this in textbook fashion.

A small part of me feels (illogically, I suppose) guilty to some degree, since my FB content might as well be a shrine to my daughter and all her milestones and smiles while hers consists largely of her child making it another day/week/month/year. I’m posting with jubilance about my wife’s current pregnancy while she’s hoping and praying her child sees another Christmas while she still prepares for the inevitable.
12686661, That's really sad...sorry to hear that
Posted by gumz, Mon Dec-29-14 07:57 PM
12686698, Condolences man, damn
Posted by mtbatol, Mon Dec-29-14 09:04 PM
12688499, She passed way this evening.
Posted by Cold Truth, Thu Jan-01-15 10:27 PM
They sent her home a couple nights ago to finish out her time with her family, and tonight was the night. It's remarkable how they handled the situation and the outpouring of love and support is a sight to behold, but man... what a terrible thing to have to endure.

12688519, God bless the litte baby and her family
Posted by labcoat, Thu Jan-01-15 11:18 PM
12688523, RE: She passed way this evening.
Posted by Tiggerific, Thu Jan-01-15 11:48 PM
I wish them peace. To have to go through something like this...no parent should ever have to. My heart truly goes out to them.
12688536, Jesus Man, Truly Sorry
Posted by RexLongfellow, Fri Jan-02-15 01:13 AM
That's just a nightmare situation. I can't fathom how some parents have the strength to go through that. I'm truly blessed with my son.

Condolences to your friend fam