So, I am facebook friends with this girl Lauren. I haven't seen her in 20+ years, but her mom and my mom are good friends and so when we were kids we saw each other and sometimes played together.

When I announced my wife's pregnancy on FB, she liked the post and congratulated us. Later that night, I told my mom that it was FB official, and she said that the only one of her friends that she hadn't told yet was Lauren's mom, but that they're having dinner on Friday.

I said that I didn't think she'd find out from Lauren, since I didn't think that the news would be significant enough to her that she would call her mother to tell her what she saw on Facebook.

To which my hatin' ass mom said "yeah, but she probably talks to her mother more than once a month, so it could just come up in conversation naturally."

Now I feel shame (even though it's not true).

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http://prettyperiod.me/

http://whenwomenrefuse.tumblr.com/

are the Michael Jordan's of guilt dropping.

my brother and I have different fathers. All 3 of us were out at the bar getting fucked up. My brothers Dad screams "why don't you come home to see me more often, I see this guy (points at me) more than I see you and he isn't even mine"

talk about awkward.

I don't go home to visit his dad AT ALL, just see him at the bar when I go home to see my dad.

http://media.giphy.com/media/nbm1NpjU2Ge2Y/giphy.gif
didn't even see it coming.
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DJTB YOMM

"mom, wow. that was some PROFESSIONAL level Jewish Guilt you just threw down. Well done."