how the fuck does that work? as a giver, do you like to pay attention all year then surprise your S/O with something they mentioned? do you take requests? is Christmas the you get whatever you ask for holiday? are you one of those people who can magically pick out perfect and useful gifts every year without any help.

how do you like to receive gifts? do you like to be outward about what you want or would you rather receive a gift from the heart trusting your partner knows you? and are you happy with anything they get you as long as it shows thoughtfulness and effort.

cause even tho i'm not in a relationship, i got hit with a gift request. its not the gift that's the problem, its the request. just buying you whatever you want isn't Christmas-y to me. and maybe if it was my girl i'd feel different, but i doubt it. for real...i don't even fucking like Christmas. you should just be happy i show the fuck up for whatever stupid little Christmas thing you feel like i HAVE to participate in.

but i digress....gifts. how do you do it?
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it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

Mainly, because I hate getting gifts from women I'm in relationships with. It makes me feel weird, like if it's too big a gift, they're trying to gain leverage for something down the road. I've actually refused things I didn't think were appropriate.

But strangely on the flip, I try to listen or be observant as to what they may need or want and go with that. The hardest is when you're with a woman who doesn't have any specific interests and you're stuck with purses or jewelry which are boring, expensive, and easy to judge.

As for someone requesting a gift or handing me a wishlist...that's tacky as hell. I'd get them a book or something or find a way to be scarce during the holidays.

especially the gift receiving part.
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it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

something practical
something you asked for
something that's a surprise

we only do one this year
times is rough and tough like leather

givers choice or everyone gets what they want?
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it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

because i'm clueless right now
actually it may be a combination of both once he gives me some ideas

She mostly just wants clothes and shoes and shit so it's pretty easy.

Only thing that's kind of a pain is some women's clothing is kinda tough on sizes, but I've taken to just buying 2 closest sizes and returning the ones that don't fit well.

We just buy ish for each other throughout the year. If either one of us want something, we just get it. So, it's no big deal.

!

you give them thoughtful gifts. gifts that took time, money, and resources to come up with.

and their gift to you was on some charlie brown "i got a rock" type shit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ws5Q8C0n6vw



***
I'm tryna be better off, not better than...

and we were kinda lightweight hanging out, so a mix cd was an appropriate gift, really.

and it started off decent. a couple Christmas tracks, a couple tracks she put me on to and a couple tracks I put her on to.

then something like the last 8 songs were all Ben Harper. And I never particularly cared for Ben Harper. I think they were actually even in track order from one of his albums.

it was terrible. it was an hour long reminder that she pretty much just lost interest halfway through and said fuck it.

which was kind of fitting for the relationship, really.

..things fall apart, f'real...


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

DID THAT SAME SHIT.

I hated Ben Harper but I pretended to deal while I was getting to see her naked, but that mixtape fam. One time we're in the room goin at it, and she's like let me put this one while we do it. Fine whatever, titties, but young like half way through Datharper started playin and I lie to you not, my shit just went flat.

Like inside the pussy, FLAT, never to come back that night.

Then I found out her married Laura Dern, I hated that nigga for life.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3uei18KqSw


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

We'll use it as an excuse to get new phones/computers/etc. if they're getting over the hill, that way we both get the same thing, but otherwise, when your finances are as entwined as ours are, you may as well just get what the person wants because the element of surprise is minimal.

Current boyfriend's getting Bulls-Lakers tix. I'm pretty sure he'll love them since he loves basketball, Kobe's his favorite player, and he's never seen him play live. Meanwhile, he's been asking me what I want for over a month now. I think he knows me pretty well and the things I really enjoy, so I trust he'll come up with something good.

I kinda hate explicitly spelling out what I want when it comes to gifts to men I date. It doesn't have to be anything baller, just something that shows they've paid attention to stuff I'm into or something that references a shared experience. I'm pretty transparent and generally easy to shop for if you halfway pay attention to me.

But I've always given thoughtful presents to guys I date. First guy I seriously dealt with I got him a Miles Davis biography because he's really into his music and bios and he had special significance between us. What'd he get me? Nothing. smhlol

Another ex, although we'd only been dating a couple months by the time Christmas rolled around, I figured I'd make him something he'd enjoy instead of balling out and making him feel uncomfortable. He loves ginger ale and fresh baked cookies. So I made him ginger syrup so he could make fresh, more tasty ginger ale (and the soda water to go along with it), and I batched up a bunch of chocolate chip cookies into individual sizes so he could bake them fresh as he wanted. Did he ever use either of them? Nope. At least not while we were still together (which was about 8 months down the line).

Most recent one I got him something practical. He loves a ton of ice in his drinks, so I got him some better ice trays. He was really thankful and he made me a nice dinner and gave me an awesome backrub, which was about all I expected since he was essentially unemployed at the time.

so i knew that I wanted to give him this since last year
but i waited
so its a no brainer

i usually just listen and pay attention

he is a good gift giver as well
because he listens so i dont know
what to expect

he did REAL good with wildchild
bday gift
made me smile

He gives me jewelry as a suprise sometime but never for my birthday or Ramadan.

something that they've been asking for or talking about for a while.

We have so much stuff, it just makes sense.

Birthday's are the "what do you want" holiday in my book though. Xmas is the "i'm happy you thought about me" holiday.

Nieces, nephews, little cousins, the children on my girl's side of the fam, etc. I'm not buying an adult shit.

what you want, but don't really know.

FOH here asking folks that don't know you, what your mate would like. NOPE

so to avoid any hurt feelings cause i'm not using the vera bradley lunch kit/purse* that you got me - here, let me help you out!

* this actually happened to a friend of mine. dude bought her a vera bradley purse, lol.

those things are hideous.

i tend to listen for gift ideas throughout the year so i have a pretty good idea of what he wants

last year, though, i took him to a football game and i'd asked for a bag. prior to our gift exchange, we'd talked about what kind of bag i wanted. lets just say, i didn't get what i asked for and was sorely disappointed.

that damn bag was the source of MANY arguments. "you hate it, don't you? why aren't you carrying your bag?" blahblahblah. the irony is that once i got over the fact that it wasn't what he said he was getting, i fell in love with it and then the handle broke and we ended up exchanging it for something i liked more.

i told him this year that i don't want to discuss what he's getting me and to just surprise me. i'll appreciate the gift more if he doesn't hype it up to be something it isn't (ie - prada vs aldo).