>we have to "disclaimer" the fuck out of our
>thoughts/opinions. the natural aversion to being accused of
>having certain thoughts kicks in way too much regarding
>sensitive topics
>
>(this has nothing to do with Cosby/the allegations, btw)
>
>
>(yes, I'm aware of what I just did there. eat da poo poo)

It is inconvenient, yes. But a few moments taken to really consider how your queries impact the other side of the conversation, especially when that side has been impacted by the effects of racism or sexism, or whatever ism is present, is a small price to pay for dialog IMO.

lfresh posted about Daniel Handler's racist remarks recently with the refrain "This is why we're tired."

People who have been in the trenches on this issue and others do get tired in hearing the same old lines that could easily be addressed if the person bothered to listen to what's being said (instead of waiting for the first opportunity to critique) and/or do some reading up on it online.

It's even worse when these lines come across without beginning to address what's been said by the other side. It becomes tiring, and all too easy to resort to pointing what has gone without disclaimer. If nothing else it highlights to how unfair and powerless it is to be on the wrong side of a situation, which doesn't begin to help someone appreciate what it feels like to be at the mercy of structural racism and/or sexism and/or bigotry that stems from sexuality.

Free and frank dialog shouldn't come at the expense of empathy and consideration, which includes thinking before opening your mouth. This is something that governs enough of our everyday actions to the point that I think it's not too much to ask that it covers more sensitive topics as well. We don't just blurt out to someone why they don't exercise more if they appear fat to us, or why they don't just cut back on their frivolous expenditure if they appear to be hard up for cash. Treading on the grounds of rape/sexual assault should come with even more sensitivity as far as I'm concerned, and if that means that we (read: men) collectively have to take a moment of introspection before voicing scepticism, I don't think that's such an injustice in the face of what we've allowed women to suffer since the dawn of our existence on this earth.