hella blame for men's behavior.

*rape/sexual assault/sexual harassment = woman must have been wearing or doing something and/or why did she put herself in that situation

*IPV = woman must have said or done something to provoke

*infidelity = she must be lacking somewhere

*partner is lying narcissistic scumbag = woman must be poor judge of character or desperate or whatever (lol, why can't the focus remain on *his* poor character?)

etc etc

I feel like this asymmetry contributes a lot to the woe-is-the-single-black-woman sentiment as well. Because even if a woman *doesn't* view herself as a failure, society's narrative is there must be something "wrong" with her (or Black women in general) to be unpartnered, especially past a certain age.

It's actually a super disturbing premise, and totally undermines any stats somebody wants to reference back it up (we all know the tropes so I won't repeat them here). Bc at that point, it's already devolved into just looking for ways to put said woman (or Black women in general) down.

Even the most chill, fulfilled, healthy, and happy Black woman gets forensic scrutiny just for being single and breathing. Don't even have to raise the issue of desperation or whatever else.