I'm in a place in life where I'm limited due to having two young kids (as in no long ass 60 mile plus weekend bike rides or random solo museum trips) which means that I'm either at work or at home - but my work was in midtown so there was excitement going into the city, being in the city and seeing new shit.

Seeing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over WITH NO WAY TO ESCAPE is fucking with me.

I WAS living in Brooklyn in a house with a backyard - but we moved to NJ for a long term work related move. So we went from a house to an apartment. I'm seeing the same goddamned walls every day.

At least once or twice a day while doing some mundane task my brain will hit a point where I'm thinking "I can't leave. I can't leave. I can't leave. FUCK"

Fuck every single introvert asshole who has said "ya know, I was built for this, I like staying in!"

I'm an introverted motherfucker as all shit but I like being alone in crowds, not alone with myself for long periods of time.

I'm anxious on/about the thought of being locked in for another 30 days, another 60 days, another, fuck, 120 days.

Can't go anywhere. There is no escape.

The economy can shit it's guts out, this can all get as ugly as it wants to get - but if I don't have a way to feel small amounts of freedom, I am going to become depressed.