I went there with a huge, neon sign with a giant,flashing arrow on me and a bullhorn asking for any theists within line of sight or earshot to come to me, present themselves as there to both witness and to solicit donations, but to only solicit donations, just so I could get that small opening to "stick my chest out".

Yep. My first thought after I got off work wasn't "I'm on E, let me get some gas and get home".

It was absolutely, "where can I find a theist to "stick my chest out" toward, and then do nothing that remotely looks like sticking my chest out".