if I know what I did and what I need to do I am good.

if what I did elicits a response either negative or positive then I'm good.

if I know what I'm doing is helping people/the organization then I'm good.


where I lose energy is not know what I'm doing, or not knowing if what I'm doing is needed - like breaking my neck to make a deadline only to get a bunch of silence after being yelled at to make things happen

I love energy and stop giving a fuck when my job is reduced down to "Do this because I say so, ignore the fact that you are taking on a pointless task and that we are burning millions of dollars on a bad solution...just do it and stop asking hard questions"

so, I started trying to act like I'm the pimp and everyone owes me something

be it a "yeah I got it" email

or a "Oh, you're right we do need to talk about that thing you sent out"

or "NO, the answer is NO" - which is fine, tell me a no, just don't fucking pretend like I did not ask you for something

assholes get shit done. I'm far from reaching true asshole levels but its something I am starting to think about