but this paragraph right here man.


>All this to say that I’m worried sick about how the divorce
>will impact our kids. Custody is 50-50 and we will be close
>to one another. We’re friendly enough to do dinners, hikes,
>parties, and other social events together. We’ve agreed to
>not talk negatively of one another around the kids. The
>general consensus I’ve gathered from therapists and others
>is that kids do best if they feel secure and know that it’s
>not their fault and that both parents will continue to love
>them unconditionally. Still, it burns my soul to know that
>pretty soon I won’t have that opportunity to see my kids
>every day and I won’t be there tuck them in bed each night.
>Strangely, my soon to be ex doesn’t seem too bothered by
>that fact though.


stick to this over everything. No matter how bad things get between you and her. Always put the kids first. My parents divorced when I was 12. My dad cheated on my mom. But my mom never told us. She didnt want us to think any less of him. She also knew it didnt change the kind of father he was. So she put all the bullshit aside and they kept it friendly for us. They had joint custody and we went to my dad's every other weekend. But he had the freedom to come visit anytime he wanted. All he had to do was call. When we had little league games he was there. Birthday parties, he was there. Parent teacher conference, he was there. If he wanted to call and check in on us that was fine too. My mom was always cordial to him. They never made it uncomfortable for us when they were in the same room together. Growing up most of my friends had parents who were divorced and I heard horror stories about how their parents couldnt stand each other. Or how messy the divorce was. But we didnt have to deal with any of that.

Now im not going to say the divorce didnt mess me up. It did. I dont think there is anyway for a child not to be affected by a divorce. But I never thought it was my fault. I always appreciated how our parents put us first through the whole thing.