To keep going doesn't mean you have to suck it up. It doesn't mean it's possible to just suck it up either. Unfortunately abuse and hurt leaves the victims with the duty to process and cope. You're smart and if you're finding this tough I believe that's because you're in a difficult situation.

Right now and going forward you don't have to do anything except make sure you're okay. Me and I bet a bunch of others here are around if you ever need to be reminded.