12892979, when an abusive parent dies. Posted by Mike Jackson, Mon Sep-07-15 08:31 PM
i made an effort to get closer to him before he died.
I definitely don't miss him. but all he left me was alone and this has me fucked up.
there is shit that i thought i was over.
apparently, i'm not.
i don't want to go to the funeral but i will. i want to just shake it off and keep it moving like i normally do.
but when i try to shake it off all i feel is more pain and anger and saddness and loneliness.
it feels like i got a raw deal. it feels like i didn't deserve this shit.
I usually get through by saying everyone has it rough and you just suck it up and keep going.
but when i try to suck it up i just don't feel lik anything is left in the reserves.
it feels like i am out of fight. none of the distractions are working.
i can't analyze my way out of this one.
it all just sucks. i don't even feel bad for feeling sorry for myself.
just fuck the entire situation.
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