>Adults must understand that the labels children use are not
>crucial to family success. What is important is that children
>are given the freedom to choose which labels are most
>comfortable. For example, don't force them to call a
>stepparent "mommy" but don't scold them for doing so either.
>Children need to be granted permission to use whatever term is
>most fitting (as long as it conveys a basic level of respect).
>Telling a child, “feel free to call me Sandra if you like”
>or “when you are at your mother’s house this weekend,
>it’s okay with me if you call your stepdad ‘Daddy
>Tom’—it doesn’t hurt my feelings” is a grace gift to
>children. It relieves them of worrying about your feelings and
>frees them to love.
>
>
>this, smart-guy, is the most common philosophy espoused on
>every site I can find. I'll be going against this philosophy
>when I tell him to not call me dad.