apparently the 'easy solution' is to explain the complicated dynamics of step-parent relatioships to an 8 year old and then say 'I don't know....ASK THEM!' when he questions why things are different at our house than they are at his father's. He's fucking 8. Do you know any 8 year olds?


You don't have kids. You obviously can't grasp how complicated this is. i didn't even mention race in the OP. That's all in the responses. I don't even think race plays a role in this.

the fact is....there are a billion different perspectives on this. And it is not controversial to suggest that it can be damaging to the child to force them NOT to call a step-parent 'dad' or 'mom'. There is no established principal on this from child psychologists. Many of them (and you can google this if you want) claim that the child should call stepparents what they want without interference. Disallowing them from calling a stepfather who lives with them 'dad' can signify a lack of love and/or commitment to them (especially at the age of 8). This is not as clear as you think.....I know cause I've researched it. There's literally endless literature on this. But NOOOOOOO. Childless Rdhull says it's all very simple.