So I was briefly mentioning to Mahogany this weekend that I want to lose weight and be healthy but I'm not going to lie and say part of me being unhealthy has been the simple fact that *I* feel I look better with a little weight on me.

I LIKE being thick.

It just comes with shit I don't like. Like being fatigued doing stupid things like going up the stairs at the train station, always being two burgers away from being really big, and buying clothes!

My weight has always been up and down. When I got down to my "weight loss goal" of 150lbs ((which is still well above what my doctor says I should be)) a few years ago EVERYONE said I'd lost too much weight and basically called me lil Luther. I mean I did look a little like Jennifer Hudson, and she looks good but you know what I mean.

Anyway, I started in February, and the goal was to just get fit! I didn't set a goal other than saying I wanted a flatter stomach and to get rid of my back fat. I did weigh myself just because I still wanted that number and so I could monitor something. So in the beginning of Feb I was at 185lbs, and I'm currently at 174lbs...

Not bad but I can already see I'm losing my booty... Oh lord... This is totally vain I know but I don't want to lose my ass! I have been squatting my ass off thinking it would just make it lift and get tighter but I think it's worked against me. ;-(

When I lived down south I swear it's GOT to be something in the water because I was able to be thin and still have my ass. My stomach used to be FLAT but I still had a great shape.

What to do ya'll??? I don't want to lose my shape! I workout four times a week and I haven't gone full blown diet but I have made major changes in my overall diet. How do I lose the weight I WANT to lose but keep what weight that I love?


Let me have my little shallow moment... I know my health is more important. I want to live long, I want to be fit, I want to have my flat tummy...

I'm thinking maybe I'll just lose the weight... then get my booty done. lol