she enjoys co-parenting to a degree, or at least being a helpful caretaker

her MO is to be deferential tho, and I'd like to see another outcome than her sacrificing her personal relationship in favor of her BIL's paranoia

but i dont think his position is TOTALLY unreasonable either. But I do think he's being a little unkind to her. And I think a compromise could be reached.

what i really think is that mom should step up, advocate for her sis, highlight the billions of dollars worth of free (and quality, safe, in-the-family) care theye getting, and have dad man down a little bit. let auntie cook (for your kids. with her bf. hes fine)