just to help clarify, when you read about things being too loud in Mix or EQ, they're usually referring to an over-compressed mix that is usually a result of a mastering engineer getting heat from labels to push the levels on all their albums.
you should concentrate on just getting the best sound you can. experiment and read is the only thing i can suggest. i know what i'm doing, and i read a ton of books and magazines, because you never know it ALL.
it may really benefit to pay someone to mix and go there to observe... or contact your local studios about possible internships. if i didn't waste so much time at d&d and powerplay in the 90's, i wouldn't have picked up ALOT of the things i know now that often save my ass in the studio

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