-what denomination are you? 35-24-35

-"don't pick on the weirdoes, cause they're probably really witches."

-"no, he never had any motown in his soul. who wrote this shit?!"

-kids and weiners: "you have to draw the line somewhere."

-"bigfoot ain't bother anyone."

-asphyxiation a.k.a. peter frampton impersonation gone bad

-"stretch got fucked up early"

-the booger-eating spaz

-bicentennial hookers

-scary moment of the year: questlove as the swedish chef's chicken