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Forum namePass The Popcorn Archives
Topic subjectI just finished shooting what could be the worst movie ever made.
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=23&topic_id=34381&mesg_id=34381
34381, I just finished shooting what could be the worst movie ever made.
Posted by Ryan M, Mon Apr-18-05 01:01 AM
Yeah, it was awful.

I was the producer on it. It was a school film...my final project, etc. I couldn't get my script together in time to submit for my project, but this film I jumped onto because a) I knew the DP very well and he's a good friend of mine, plus he's very talented and b) the crew was cool.

On top of that, I've already shot what I consider my senior thesis film - my homie's NYU thesis film which I produced as well.

Anyway, let's break the story down:

We have an older scientist. He hires a young guy to have sex with his wife. Why you ask? Well, he's rich and he burned his genitals off in a lab accident 15 years prior. He also has a butler. Anyway, young guy has sex with wife, finds out that scientist had this accident, etc. Scientist is adamant dude has sex because he's doing it for his wife, to have a kid, which he can't do anymore...because he doesn't have nuts. Or a penis. Anyway...the butler eventually acts weird, the maids in the house (he lives in a mansion, by the way), they start hitting on young dude, etc. and then the butler's face melts off. Then the young guy doesn't LEAVE the house but rather gets beat by the old guy...waking up and having a discussion with the old guy (in a JamesBond-esque reveal) that he has crafted everything in his house from scratch, and that nobody is real (but he beat the young guy cause he was falling in love with his wife), and the young guy, as it turns out...works for the lab that old guy used to work for, and that the accident (that burned off his nuts by the way...just to reiterate that) was planned by a guy who we are never really introduced to, we just know through dialog (tell, don't show!) that he was like a "brother" to the old guy and that he set him up to avoid having him find the cure to cancer which he was close to finding. Then the police come, and...scene.

As you can see, it's a mess.

It was an awful experience in pre-production, production was 8 14+ hour days of shooting (against my wishes...I had literally no power on this set) with tons of horrible, unprofessional aspects on set (such as piss poor meals, discussions of finances in front of other crew and actors, etc.). I keep things at a 12 hour day max, and that's that. There was no AD on this set, because the director wanted to shoot 1.5 pages a day (RIDICULOUS) and eventually we had to change that. All in all, it was a bad...bad....BAD pre production experience and not such a great production one.

This guy thinks this film is GREAT too. Oh and not only is the story bad...the acting is AWFUL. AWFUL. Nice actors, but they were bad, they have the same performance over and over, and indicated like craaaaazy. Bad.

Did I say the movie was about a guy with no penis or balls? Just needed to point that out again.