as one of "them" (since i suspect "them" equals european breeds), i have to give my perspective:

often times i see and hear black people assume racial reasons for shit that really isn't racial (largely because of all the shit that IS racial that happens)...same can be said to some degree about the thought process of all kinds of people who have to put up with a lifetime of negative reactions to something about their exterior. mind you, i'm NOT comparing the DEGREE or LEVELS of other situations to that of being black in america, but being extremely short for a man (5'3") i often find myself thinking my shortness is playing a bigger factor in someone else's treatment or opinion of me than it really is...and being white, i often find non-white people totally misfiring on their mind-reading attempts of white people.

1. those people who were bashing you at the play were wrong no matter what they were making fun of, but it doesn't seem from what i read that they were automatically making fun of your blackness. was it cool that they were making fun of your hairdo? NO. they're being asses no matter how you slice it. but ask yourself: what kind of venue was this and was your style sticking out like a sore thumb or wasn't it?

2. high-end upscale places that turn you down: is your skin-tone and facial features the thing that's against their image, or is it your fro or cornrows (and, possibly, clothes...even though i don't know what you wear). are black people who get in getting in because they look white, or look groomed?

3. when people know you're questlove, is their sudden change of behavior related to the the simple fact that you're "a rich and famous guy" or the things they now know about you and admire? obviously, sometimes (especially with venues and restaurants) its the former...but when its individual people, it's probably the fact that people admire the things they know about questlove far more than that of a stranger who looks different from them.

4. if i saw you on the bus (and i know who you are by sight and happen to admire you in many ways no homo), i'd probably avoid sitting next to you too unless i felt extra-extraverted, because i'd be thinking i'm bothering you. just some food for thought. not saying these nice things are always the reasons, but its important to understand that "i'm black and deep down they don't respect me" isn't always the reason either.