Fuck-ass John Travolta, I hope he dies.

I can't believe the winning moment...no, the ONLY thing WORTH THINKING of this movie was a damn 1.5 second Haile Berry shot. Hugh Jackman cashing-in on his newfound popularity was spent on this piece of shit. The worst part about the "suprise TWIST' ending was that I predicted it halfway through when we saw the FAKE John Travolta head. Goddamnit, why did I have to see his OBNOXIOUS, wannabe "devious" facial expression THIS many times? Travolta plays the same role in every movie...he plays an actor who ACTING like the role. That smirk shows up whether he's supposed to be an eccentric, world-conquering hustler, or a smart-ass angel.

Oh yeah, and fuck Cheattle for making this somewhat of a legit film. Other than that, it as ass.

"Twist"-ending my balls. "OOH, he REPLACED what was SUPPOSED to be his body with the REPLICA body we saw earlier!" Fucking duh!

Wait a minute, they're both the same person? I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY BACK, THIS IS THE GAYEST TWIST EVER.

I hate Fight Club.

RED
Ora et labora

Im still laughing at your dad and I bashing it the other night.

okay, I will do my own then.

I get it, she is hooker and she is nice. SO THE FUCK WHAT? That does NOT mean she deserves some rich guy to take her in. QUIT TURNIN TRICKS, BITCH! And fuck this movie for bringing forward one of my least favorite actresses ever. Scene from every single one of her movies. Other character: does something surprising and fun. Her: BWAH! HAHAHAHAHAHA, giggle giggle giggle! And that goes in every fucking trailer. I get it, her mouth is big I guess, I do not care at all.

one of the dumbest movies it has ever been my misfortune to sit through

good one

cosign

What the FUCK???????

__________________________________________________________________________
<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

__________________________________________________________________________
<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

though I figured you'd use one or the other

I thought of *that* one after I hit send, though I figured it would be Longo who would type it.
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

is possibly the dumbest scene in the history of cinema. Norm would never allow a scene like that in one of his movies.

>is possibly the dumbest scene in the history of cinema.

Obviously you havent seen Vicent Cassel's breakdancing stunt in Oceans 12

Operation Swordfish? Project Swordfish? It was so God awful I can't even remember the title.

And the fact that Halle showed her titties was sorta negated by "Monster's Ball", where there is basically a softcore porn sex scene.

kinda cool, but...fuck TRAVOLTA

...show me the fucking alien!!!

for the record: i am not one of them

it's her fucking father? I mean, COME ON

>it's her fucking father? I mean, COME ON

seriously. that is the biggest cop out in the history of film.

It was an etheral/alien being who took the FORM of her father to make her feel at ease.

The whole movie was about doubt, religion, science, curiosity, etc...

The end just made people think outside the box. True, everyone expected to see this advanced civilization, and they ended up getting some Mr. Miagi-ass galactic wisdom, but it wasn't terrible.

It's not my favorite movie, but I liked it. I saw nothing wrong with the ending. I swear, I'm going to make my sig "Contact: It wasn't her fuckin father" lol

but she was straight trippin off her father the whole damn movie.
And the alien showing up as her father?? She would've gone into psychological convulsions or something.

seriously, she wouldn't have been able to take it.


****************************************
StLOKp's™: DawgEatah, Dstl1, hyde, Colonel Sanders, MisterGrump, Afrotec, Instant_Vintage, ThaTruth, Soul1908, SefConscious, Baldheadslik, YngblkprinceMD, 314confidential, rdiggity, Kid

Honorable mention:auragin_boi
****************************************
Only after the last tree has been cut down
Only after the last fish has been caught
Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten
Sitting Bull

lol

It's a trip how people think it was her actual father, and there was an etheral BEACH floating in a cloud of space gas.

Maybe it was a machine that induced acid trips or somethin

Cause e'rybody was like, "Bitch. You aint go nowhere!"
but she THOUGHT she did.
So maybe the aliens wanted to get us all fucked up for sending them that Hitler thing and be like "chill you human fuckers"

that would explain the father thing, the beach in the clouds in OUTER FUCKING SPACE!! I'm convinced now, thats what it was

****************************************
StLOKp's™: DawgEatah, Dstl1, hyde, Colonel Sanders, MisterGrump, Afrotec, Instant_Vintage, ThaTruth, Soul1908, SefConscious, Baldheadslik, YngblkprinceMD, 314confidential, rdiggity, Kid

Honorable mention:auragin_boi
****************************************
Only after the last tree has been cut down
Only after the last fish has been caught
Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten
Sitting Bull

there'd be a lot less of that kind of talk. Not that people read anything that isn't on the internet anymore.

j/k

.

of that movie, I see

it seems so self-satisfied with the supposed "twist" it's building to, but i figured out that this dude was dead like halfway through the film! (maybe it was because the trailers kinda gave it away? or because i watched Carnival of Souls? or because i read plenty of EC Comics when i was a kid?)

and i can't STAND these movies with creepy little white kids.

i'm never gonna watch another film by this director. these people who are calling him the "new Hitchcock are on some serious drugs"

i hate to be so obvious, but it was the first one to come to mind

I thought that movie was garbage.

BORING

...aliens that fear water

>...aliens that fear water

.... at least six or seven times, why is everyone in the theater still laughing like its the funniest thing they have ever seen? Must be because any movie right now involving Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn is unconditionally funny.

mustaches are always funny

that was Swordfish

mine:
As if the first one wasn't enough of a misstep, Mr Dangerously Little Taste for That Much Talentino delivers 2-3 hours of film that must have passed through his digestive system before overpowering hipster film goers everywhere. Give the rate this man talks at, it's distinctly possible he suffers from some sort of ADHD disorder: this would explain the 3 bullet points he wrote down in preparation for this film before getting bored and making the unnecessary phonecalls. They were: 1. do a buried alive scene, 2. steal that speech about Clark Kent 3. Give a deadly hitman a mundane job with an asshole boss, that he puts up with. Thank you RZA for not providing any actual music. Your 5 second loop in the Crazy88 fight last time was quite enough, very atmospheric (or would have been if only the scene took place in a massage parlour). Thank you everyone else for agreeing to a 7 year waste of time. Thankyou follow-up for vindicating my judgement that the first one wasn't going anywhere interesting.

Although I loved the 1st one the 2nd one was a huge letdown.

'specially on the RZA part

we'd die sooner and be spared ever watching this film again

.

what was that one anyway? the one with the tidal wave?
unless i'm mistaken, it was the tagline for Armageddon, where they send a bunch of oil rig drillers (Bruce Willis) to save the world

He can see the future or something? Or he can change it? And what the fuck is up with this bunny? Maybe it'll be explained in the next 30 minutes...wait a minute...IT'S OVER?? WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT MOVIE.

I WIN!

my turn:

okay so this dude with the wild ass tats just gets bisected after a 6 minute fight...WTF! and whats up with the slave dialect, somebody kill this platapus looking fuck quick.

damn that kid has a big ass head, to bad he gets to kil each and every one of you fucks in a few years...


return to your home citizens

madagascar titties- (c) phontiggalo the rap jiggalo

I would never, ever hit a woman....but i'll beat a bitch (c) wifey

Donnie Darko wasn't all that bad. The bunny was f**ked up though.

Donnie Darko wasn't all that bad. The bunny was f**ked up though.

and take Tom Arnold with you!......

...............keep Sofia Vergara with me thankyouverymuch.

I only saw a few minutes of Soul Plane, but I do agree with you!

Let me get this straight this dude never got sick and that was not odd? Not to mention he was super strong, but did not figure it out till he was damn near 40? he never played softball and hit the ball the like 700 feet? He never helped someone move and said, "wow this fridge is light?" and don't get me started on the fucking ending!



!sig!

Colored Heavyweight Champion of The World

Star Wars: Revenge of The Sith is in theater where you should be right now!


"You're not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or who s

you can't just fake a career ending injury. his doctors and coaches would have been like, "This mother fucker's knee is fine."

I hated that fuckin movie.

All that time to find out it was a fuckin comic book.
Jeez

>I hated that fuckin movie.
>
>All that time to find out it was a fuckin comic book.
>Jeez

I'd still rather be forced 2 watch it over & over again 4 the rest of my life than have 2 watch a movie about aliens being scared of water ever again.

Yeah, "Unbreakable" sucked.

What's this Bostonian MacBeth horseshit? What about the dead guy's wife, or does the director hate EVERY WOMAN in this movie? Goddammit I wanna shoot the guy who recommended this movie to me.

To be fair...that's how it is in the book too.

You're gonna take one of the most famous superheroes, make his sidelick a whiny (BC grad) bitch motherfucker, put nipples on his uni, and have some future governor spit out stupid oneliners, none of which are remotely clever? This was on some "script?!? There's a script?!?!" shit. Add to that a fuckin dayglo universe (He's supposed to be Dark goddamnit?!), and I've never wasted money like I wasted it that night.

And that's why I never let chicks pick movies.

------------------------------
Proud Supporter of the 2004 World Champion Boston Red Sox, The Three-time Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, The 16 Time NBA Champion Boston Celtics, the four Time NCAA and 26 time Beanpot champion Boston University

The worst comic book flick ever.

You always said you liked the movie but hated the ending.

You're the one that purposefully watches movies he doesnt like, haha.

and I LOVED it the first time around (out of place ending and all).

still decent but I haven't been able to sit through it all the times i've tried.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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If he'd said something about Sean Penn yelling his head off in a park, I would've known it.

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to the GUY who's daughter was killed.

What, she thought he was just gonna get a good talking to?

Then, during the parade, she was wandering around looking for him.

Dave might have been a child murderer
Dave's wife snitched on her husband (and was in general annoyingly hysterical)
Sean Penn's character - I dislike those sorts of angry/aggressive male characters. and he killed an innocent man
the two police officers are really just smartasses

powerful film though

I hate movies like that

who would have thought a 2 hour movie with 13 gigantic egos and no plot could be terrible?

Though, to be fair, Elliot Gould's ego is merely "huge," not "gigantic."

11 had a plot.

"Random" motion sensor lasers that can be breakdanced thru? I've never laughed so hard @ unintended comedy in my life.

last year.
The only good bit of the movie was the Topher Grace cameo.

>last year.
>The only good bit of the movie was the Topher Grace cameo.

"Dude I totally phoned in that Dennis Quaid flick"

Why the fuck does anyone give Ben Affleck a job in this day and age. By this point it chould be an accepted fact that the mutherfucker can't act to save his life. His every attempt to play a grim avenger just looked like he was constipated. Oh, and the less said about that ridiculus farce of a fight scene between him and Jennifer Garner. The moment they saw that scene they should have saved everyone the trouble and just stopped filming right then and there. Honestly, only Colin Farrel ans Michael Clark Duncan keep this from being an early candidate for worst movie ever made. As it stands, it still shits all over one of my all time favourite comic book characters

I really hated Daredevil. My fiance had to make me sit down and watch it.

Damn you Affleck for messing up a good character! Damn YOU!!!

"wow this movie is lame as shit"

"whoa Roselyn Sanchez is hot"

"what a stupid fuckin' movie"

"damn Jaci Velazquez is cute as hell"

"ugh how fuckin lame is this... *watches Caliente instead*

__________________________________________________________________________
<------Mmm-HMM.

Oh wait, that could be "Disclosure" too.

<=============================

73.14% of all television-transmitted HIV infections are caused by jerkers who think pulling out the remote control right before the moment of truth will render them safe from harm. - the wisdom of squeeg



[link:www

Now he looks to be in a brand spanking new section of the Chicago subway system, staring at a little girl. Oh, wait, sorry, he's "in-between worlds." My bad. Now he's meeting up with Carrie-Anne Moss again, and they're going to this club, and they're talking to that sleazy French dude who's with Monica Bellucci. She's hot.

Meanwhile, the Dingy-Ass Promised Land with Cornel West, Roy Jones and a lot more barefoot black people is being, um, penetrated, by these big-ass machine, um, drills (no homo). WTF? And now they've penetrated the, um, walls of the dingy-ass promised land, and the people are fighting back with big-ass machine guns and Robotech battle gear. Wow, this is like one long, bad war picture from the 40's.

Meanwhile, Keanu fought the slick dude who's spreading himself everywhere (not Hugo Weaving but one of his disciples... he looks like a broke Luis Guzman), and he lost his sight in the process. Uh, what? Now the machines are all over the dingy-ass promised land city. Hope is fading fast.

Meanwhile, Hugo Weaving is spreading himself all over town. What a man-whore.

Where did Roy Jones go? He must have had to go prepare for the first Tarver fight. Anyway, Jada's in her ship, doing... God knows what. Oh, she's fighting the machines as well, and looking longingly at Laurence Fishburne, whom we're supposed to believe she'd choose over my man from The Five Heartbeats. GTFOWTBS. "Nights Like This" vs. "GIVE ME THE MOTHERFUCKIN' GUN, TREY!" Ladies, who would YOU choose? And the fight continues. And continues. And continues. We haven't seen Keanu and Carrie-Anne in about an hour, I think. This battle sure is bloody. Those machines are kicking ass. Wow, the head general of the dingy city army just got murked. And he's got a big-ass, bloody tire streak running across his face. Okay, that looked kinda cool.

Meanwhile... where the FUCK are Keanu and Carrie-Anne? Oh, there they are. Now they're traveling to Machine City? Who knew there was even a Machine City to begin with? Wait, they're getting attacked by more machine ships. And their ship got fucked up, even though Keanu is The One and theoretically could have prevented it. And now... wait, Carrie's DEAD? Like THAT? She couldn't have gone out in a blaze of bullets or a really cool fight? She gets a pipe through her chest as her exit? Are you fucking kidding me?

Keanu soldiers on, and meets with a big face that looks like one of those pin things you can buy and put your hand in and it looks kinda dope. He makes a deal with the machine pin thing, and now we're going to see Keanu fight Hugo one last time. Awww YEAH! Now we're onto something. They're fighting in the rain and stuff... it's all very powerful, very Superman 2-ish... Keanu keeps getting his ass handed to him, and there's some talk about choice and yin and yang, and opposites, and all that shit. Wait, Keanu's DEAD? What in the blue FUCK? Now the machines have stopped penetrating the dingy city, and all of the black people there (like Larry and Jada, and that dude from Oz/Lost, but somehow not Roy and Cornell) rejoice! They have been SAVED! The war is over! Thank The One for superhuman white hackers!

Now we're looking at the lady from A Different World, who apparently is now the Oracle, and the Colonel Sanders dude from Reloaded (which was at least intriguing), and they're talking about an uneasy truce between the Mexican Mafia and the Crips-- oh, sorry, I mean, the machines and the black people in that now-kinda-dingy city. Keanu died to save us all, people. THAT dude's our last hope? How fucking shitty was that? Guess I'll watch the animated shorts after I finish beating the video game, then after that I'll go online for some interactive fun with this world. I can't WAIT to give them more of my MONEY!
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Mmm-HMM.

.

And no, it's not Johnny Mnemonic, fuckers.
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Mmm-HMM.

he stopped the machines because his powers extend beyond the matrix intot he machine world becasue he is creation of the machine world.

also he stopped agent smith by solving the equation. the system started breaking down when he didnt go intot eh source. he was different 'memeber.

this is still lame though...


return to your home citizens

madagascar titties- (c) phontiggalo the rap jiggalo

I would never, ever hit a woman....but i'll beat a bitch (c) wifey

This cool ass movie about a very violent sport in the future where corporations have superseded governments.

that was on TV the other day, jesus it was bad.

>that was on TV the other day, jesus it was bad.

Your TV didnt get up & throw itself out the window? I mean Chris Klien & LL in the same movie? That's enough torture right there alone. I dont need 2 see the damn movie.

probably the worst movie ever made. well, next to Passion that is.

And he trembles a lot, and then the same disturbing music plays, but numbers light up when he studies them. UH OH HERE COME THE COMMIES. Hey, where's my imaginary friend? Wasn't I supposed to be kind of gay too? Why is the director of EdTV doing this movie? WHERE ARE AL PACINO AND MICHAEL MANN...

AND THATS IT????

THEY SHOULD HAVE TIT PUNCHED THE WHORE AND LET EVERYONE ELSE THINK SHE WAS CRAZY.

they don't even mention if the black cop comes back, but of course that doesn't matter.

exeryone involved in the production of this film should be disappeared on a plane flight.



FREE CHAI VANG!


Certified Grade A Coon - Inspector Abrock33

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

to find crack?

FREE CHAI VANG!


Certified Grade A Coon - Inspector Abrock33

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

Waste of time for everyone involved.


-------------
Favorites songs of the moment
H2o Gate Blues & Song for Bobby Smith

FREE CHAI VANG!


Certified Grade A Coon - Inspector Abrock33

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

Worst. Movie. Ever.


No one will guess this because thank god none of you saw it.

dot the i. :-)


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

I be Scrobblin': http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/TasteeTreat/

~~~~~~~~~~~

what if a straight man got bashed every time queers felt threatened by heterosexuals?
and what if a white man got lynched every time blacks felt threatened by whites?
wwww.agitart.org

gotta be. that movie really sucked ass. even for gael.

...Gael looked hot.

Dot the i, he didn't even look hot. It was just gross.

don't remember that one. guess that's why i didn't get kurly's post.
obviously, it doesn't need to be remembered

Person 1: "Hold-up, so the movie is supposed to be set in France, right?"

Person 2: "Yeah."

Person 1: "It's about the French King, and the Musketeers, right?"

Person 2: "Yeah..."

Person 1: "Every single person in the movie is supposed to be French, right?"

Person 2: "I feel you..."

Person 1: "Then why is Gerard Depardieu the only one with an accent, and all them other mufuckas got an English accent? I mean damn, they ain't even try to act French..."

Person 2: "Yup. Leo ain't even have an English accent. That nigga was Cali all day long."

n/m

>Person 2: "Yup. Leo ain't even have an English accent. That
>nigga was Cali all day long."

No shock there

that sucks this kid having to deal with his drunk dad

that was a nice long tracking shot of a school hallway. this school sure is clean

(30 minutes later)

I thought that tracking shot would never end. wait another tracking shot of a school hallway?

(30 minutes later)

another one? oh I get it. they're all the same scene

ok, an hour plus of walking down hallways looking at high school stereotypes. something's bound to happen now....wait why are these two guys making out for no reason. did I miss something?

*gunshots*

*credits roll*

*listens to applause of amazed audience*

*scratches head*

I would have done this one had I got past the 15th tracking shot.

n/m

But I haven't seen it. I know it sounds like what's been described to me as Pumpkin.

Edit: Fuck. I meant Elephant. Pumpkin has Christina Ricci in it.

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and complain about how you still don't like it

Elephant.

for fucking nicole kidman?

was that everyone whispered?

Just going from what I've heard.

and they use the title every 5 minutes:
"it's so lonely here in...Cold Mountain"
"excuse me I need to get back to... Cold Mountain"
"we're known for impeccable southern accents and a landscape oddly similar to eastern europe here in... Cold Mountain"
"we only have slaves off camera here in... Cold Mountain"

during the entire movie? It musta been cause he's sooo cool. And she was SO CRAZAY, talkin' with that accent half the time and doing "wild" stuff like shooting raccoons and stuff. What a REBEL. Give that girl an Oscar for that.
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

It's about a cuban immigrant's rise and fall in miami in drug game. Not only is everybody hamming it up, but the star of the show is the biggest ham of all. I could deal with getting italians to fake it as cubans, but F. Murray Abraham? Give me a break!


-------------
Favorites songs of the moment
H2o Gate Blues & Song for Bobby Smith

This has to take the cake as the worst piece of cinematic crap ever. The car's tires come off and they ride on the train tracks?!?!?!?! Cube???? What the hell?

from the 1800's lol

Like that one flick with Marissa Tomei.

They always do that exagerrated flamenco/salsa dance when they are happy, and "YAP! YAP!". WTF? Even @ a party or club, Cubans don't do that shit lol

>Like that one flick with Marissa Tomei.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

I be Scrobblin': http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/TasteeTreat/

Scarface is a classic. I like the movie but I think you are right about F. Murray Aberham. You hate this movie?

Why does the entire film have the starwash on it? Why is the humor such a bite of everyother romance comedy tounge&cheek film Clooney is in? This is the one time ol' girl hasnt looked good, I mean, coming off of Entrapment with the greatest two seconds of clothed film in the world? COME ON. The one typically clever moment of these writers was beyond predictable. This fucker seemed like such a damn studio obligation pic it's unreal.

Guess.

Yep, it was very disappointing. However, I'm gonna have to disagree with you about CZJ not looking good.

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which I guess was the intention of the film, to do a 1950s still studio-style romance comedy. I tried to justify this film for so long...

better than she does in most movies

Seriously? The camera LOVES her.


-------------
Favorites songs of the moment
H2o Gate Blues & Song for Bobby Smith

just that she looks better in Intolerable Cruelty

THAT fly is like a talent.

I know ur not talking about "Entrapment...that part with her ass in the air? Man, like the 1.5 second Haile Berry titty shot, that's all they EVER played in order to get you hype for the movie lol

>This is the one time ol' girl hasnt looked
>good

This is the one time ol' girl hasnt looked
>good

Cataracts?

I hate when my wife picks the flick.

i can probably think of maybe 3 other movies it could be, too

lol yep

a regular guy with self-esteem issues shouldn't be given the powers of God just to get a promotion?

no FUCKING way dude!

A second viewing showed it wasn't as crappy as I felt after the first time.

I mean, talk about life lessons learned

I liked Bruce Almighty. It gave me a case of the warm fuzzies.

>a regular guy with self-esteem issues shouldn't be given the
>powers of God just to get a promotion?
>
>no FUCKING way dude!

MESSAGE!

doing with that banana? Oh my God. I think I just nutted on myself.

Also, a gay Roger Moore is NOT funny. He's not "subverting his image" either.
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Mmm-HMM.

haha. I was watchin the movie on cable once. not a good look for 007.
Roslyn Sanchez was looking great in there. & the banana scene mentioned..!!!

Alright, so the star got royally fucked over by the most impossibly evil cinematic bad guy ever. He was made the most latently homosexual incestuous hairlip of all time...he may as well have been walking around with a flashing arrow pointing at his head saying "#1 Heavy". It didn't bother me so much that the bad guy's sister and nephew might as well have been named "Plot Points 1 and Plot Point 2" and his trainer should have been named "Expositionus", for he focused all the little brains on just how we were supposed to feel about each character. I didn't even mind so much that exactly NONE of the battle scenes made logistical sense and the quick-cut, extreme close-up nature of all of them made it impossible to accurately follow the action. But one thing I can't forgive...

The star is sold into slavery along with various: Africans, Germans, Romans, Greeks, Middle Easterners, etc. The story is set in various locations around the Aegian where any number of languages was spoke but I think the main ones would have been: Roman and Latin. The fucker even goes by the name "Spaniard" and yet...EVERYONE SPEAKS WITH AN ENGLISH ACCENT!!! Even the American hired on to play the Roman Emporer speaks with like a bad guy from another movie Empire. (The only notable exception in all of this is of course the 7' German dude who speaks with his Germanic accent). What's even worser though, is that to show lower class citizens in the slave dens...they speak with a bloomin Cockney!! I mean these must be REAL low class Roman slave traders if they've adopted an underworld slang 14 centuries too early, that is in an entirely different language, to illustrate for all the dum dum heads just how low class they really are.

if he would have just ran like Jenny told him to, he would never have been sold into slavery in the first place

It baggles the mind how they didn't call him 'limey'.

Gladiator....

The thing that messed with me about Gladiator was that the "King" wanted a pureblood son from his sister...yuck!

And, Phoenix was such a b**ch!

------
Baddest Motherfucker in the OkaySports Hall of Fame

Fun in activist:
inVerse: "Can you prove to me that Thunder does NOT come from the god Thor?"
40thStreetBlack: "sure-doppler radar shows no mystical hammers flying around thunderclouds"

lol!
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My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

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------
Baddest Motherfucker in the OkaySports Hall of Fame

Fun in activist:
inVerse: "Can you prove to me that Thunder does NOT come from the god Thor?"
40thStreetBlack: "sure-doppler radar shows no mystical hammers flying around thunderclouds"

i kinda dug the movie though

The cameraman is apparently 2 drunk 2 operate the camera & is making me nauseous.

I hear eventually that there's supposed 2 be something scary @ the end of this thing.

There's 2 much vomit on the screen now 2 tell what's goin on. I can still hear a buncha brats complainin tho.

Aw fuck it who cares what's been scarin em this whole team. I'm turning this shit off & poppin some dramamine.

so what I wanna know is where the hell did the other $26,500 go?? (c) Chris Rock

to sleep with one of the most beautiful women in the world!

and it couldn't have come at a better time. her dimwitted, obese kid couldn't keep his ass out of the street and went and got himself run over, she's out of money, her car just broke down, her man was just executed.. oh wait, who's this driving up the street? why its the same guy who just executed her husband! he's come to save the day and "make her feel good"

how inspiring!

Monster's Ball

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My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

I be Scrobblin': http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/TasteeTreat/

Heath ledger had the right idea in that flick.
-------------
Favorites songs of the moment
H2O Gate Blues & Song for Bobby Smith

or, so I was called when I said basically the same thing that you just did about this so-called *movie.*

after watching this movie

before it would be unthinkable for a southern redneck to date a black woman

but many after seeing this movie now know that its reasonably acceptable as long as the woman in question, is incredbly needy, looks up to them, and most importantly, looks like Halle Berry

before seeing that movie, I woulda fucked her.

Now I can't even look at her.

after watching this stupendous bullshit.

Black pussy apparently is the cure for racism

So the fucking camera is spinning outta control 4 like 10 minutes before it finally focuses on some guys babbling about god knows what in some crummy building.

Ok now the camera spirals outta control again before it settles itself in some gay bar w/ the worst techno music in the world blaring from the speakers. There's 2 guys frantically searching 4 someone. Hopefully it's the DJ so they can tell him 2 play some Skynard or som'n. Anythings better than this techno crap giving me an even bigger headache than the camera movement...it's all over the fucking place.

Looks like they might have found the guy they were looking 4. Fuck!...it wasnt the DJ. They're pretty pissed about something. Good thing there's subtitles cuz I wouldnt be able 2 tell w/ them trying 2 yell over that awful techno music.

Whoa! Looks like 1 of the guys also found a fire extinguisher & is pounding it repeatedly in this other guys face in the most graphic nature I've ever seen. Sup w/ this 1 cat laughin in the background tho?

Ok now those same 2 guys are standing next 2 a very bloody woman lying on a stretcher w/ an ambulance also on the scene. Minutes later after another spiraling camera moment they're interogating a hooker w/ some very vulgar language. Wait! This hooker has a dick!?!?! Gross!

Hey there's the lovely Monica Bellucci pissed off @ her husband. Must have something 2 do w/ that breakdancing stunt he pulled in Oceans 12. Anyway she leaves him & is out on the street by herself now.

Uh oh. Footsteps. Followed by a brutal beating, an even more brutal rape (that goes on far 2 long) along w/ more vulgar dialouge, & an even more brutal beating afterwards.

Hey! She's @ home now & everything is cool. She would later go 2 a park on a sunny day & read a book. I guess time really does heal everything. But if that's the case when do I get those 2 hours back you sick French fuck!

And if you ever see the movie I'm talking about you'll wish it was another Matrix movie instead. Trust.

Irreverseible, right?

Great title 4 a shitty shock flick

like 20 minutes. Thumbs up.

He's like, dude, she's hot, I like her. His boys are like, wow, she's hot, where have we seen her before? Turns out, she kinda-sorta was/is an actress. In THOSE kind of movies. You know what kind. No, Kurlyswirl, not independent foreign movies about oppressed lesbian kids or French perverts.

Anyway, the dude's boys are like, dude, she's hot, and she's easy, we know 'cause she acted in THOSE kind of movies, so she's obviously always horny and ready. But the dude is like, no, I like her for who she is and shit. We know this because of the way he looks at her while the "airy" score plays in the background. I was hoping Joey Pants would show up and ask him if he's had sex with her on a train, cause she likes choo-choo trains. Hey, speaking of killer pimps:

We then get to meet her pimp, oops, I mean, her "film producer," and it turns out, he's a cool guy! Although, he looks kind of shifty. I think he ended up stealing some money or something, I don't remember.

Then some stuff happens, and some other stuff happens at a film festival-convention thing (no, Kurlyswirl, not the SIFF), you know, a convention for THOSE kind of movies. If I remember (cause I try as best I can to flush shitty flicks like this out of my head soon after I see them), the dude racked up some kind of debt, or was about to flunk out of school, or some other example of false jeopardy, and the new neighbor girl cooked up a scheme for them to make some dough by, get this, shooting one of THOSE kind of movies AT his school during THE PROM! Talk about RISKY BUSINESS! But if I remember, it turned out that the movie they shot wasn't one of THOSE kind of movies at all, it was a hip movie about safe sex. How's that for a twist on the teenage sex comedy?
__________________________________________________________________________
<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

The Girl Next Door? Didn't see it though.

On so many levels.

>On so many levels.

Which are?

Why the fuck are you moseying down the alley with a lotto scratch off? Dumb bastard, you deserve to catch it! And who the hell eats pomegranites in Compton? Get the fuck out of here! At least they gave O'shea his bottle of activator

still, it's a good movie

And I especially don't want to see you play a private detective in a wanna-be action comedy filled with some of the most obviously blatant stereotypes ever...i.e. the corrupt FBI agent, the lovestruck assistant, the Columbian drug kingpin and one of the most blatantly offensive gay characters I've ever seen...and I'm straight.

The only mildly redeeming thing about this flick is the hotness of the female villian/love interest. But, even she can't act her way out of a wet paperbag.

Why oh why must Charles Dutton overact in EVERY role.

Dont remember the gay guy tho.

He was only in the movie for a couple of scenes, but I cringed during every one.

"Man if they kill off Franka Potente in the first fifteen minutes, fuck this movie."

"Why do you say that?"

"They always do that shit. End the first movie on a happy romantic note, and then in the sequel they don't know what the hell to do with the leading lady no more so they just kill her off right at the start. Then they can just start from scratch again. That shit is the biggest action movie copout ever."

"Maybe they'll find a clever way to keep her in the movie?"

"Quiet, man, the movie's starting."

10 minutes later...

"Man fuck this movie."

"Damn you were right. She went out really fast."

"They really didn't even give her no lines. Ain't that some shit."

"Now what?"

"Now it's going to be like any other action movie. There's one traitor. Dude is going to be out for revenge, and every now and then he'll stop to get sad about how his woman came up short. Hey man I'm finna take me a nap. Wake me when it's time to leave the theater."

...Julia Stiles in the 1st 10 minutes...of the 1st movie instead.

>"Man if they kill off Franka Potente in the first fifteen
>minutes, fuck this movie."


I actually made the comment (or something similar) to my nephew as the FBI warning came on, "The thing I'm looking forward to most is getting to see Frnk Potente's beautiful body for the next 2 hours.

That.movie.sucked.

I already have my doubts.

Ok whoa that chic in the closet door looked pretty freaky.

Hmmmmm it's been @ least an hour now since that chic in the closet & so far nothing has scared me other than the fact that so many people thought this movie was scary.

Wait. Is this still the movie or did someone put on a Nine Inch Nails video when I went 2 the bathroom?

Ah there's the chic crawlin outta the TV that I heard about 1000 times. I guess that was kinda creepy. Wish I didnt hear about it already tho.

Hmmmm the credits are rollin now & I'm still waitin 4 the scary part. Maybe it comes after all the credits?

Nope. Damn. Should've trusted my own skepticism. Worst part is I'm not even sure I wanna watch the original version now.

The Ring was okay. It was different. I wish I had saw Ringu first though.

>The Ring was okay.

Okay 4 Insomnia. That's about it 4 me.

Then there truly is a Devil. And he's running a couple of studios in Hollywood, churning out just enough visual excrement to satisfy the entertainment wants of the lowest common denominator amongst us. Such as this little piece of Hell:

Okay so two wholly uncharismatic brothers, played almost catatonically by two wholly uninterested yet talented actors, decide on a whim to abandon the job they hate and kill mafia members. They recruit a low-level mob flunky, who is criminally misnomered "funny man", to join them. And so begins a campaign of wanton acts of aggression much to the delight of the white trash scumbags who look up to the brothers as some sort of twisted Irish Robin Hoods. This new guy, who is such a walking train wreck, stumbles and bumbles his way through the movie and his lines. o top it all off, sort of like extra runny warm diarrhea sauce on top of a vomit sundae, this flamboyantly gay FBI agent is the only one in the South Boston area who has any inkling that the brothers are responsible for the ever increasing number of dead wiseguys. Utterly oblivious to the fact that they turned themselves in the first time (for offing a couple of Russian gangsters who they then robbed), the police department is shown up time and time again by Agent Flame-On and his uncanny ability to reccreate the crime scene action by studying its aftermath. This would have been the only semi-remotely-sort-of-interesting-in-a-hlf-assed-kind-of-way part of the movie, mainly because the agent character is played by a wholly watchable and gifted actor. But its done in such a contrived and cliched ham-handed way that it never gets even partly enjoyable. The absolute rock bottom is reached when the aforementioned actor, who is so totally slumming in this role, decides to go undercover as a woman. The scene isn't played for laughs but once you realize that the dialogue is intended to be serious and that the agent is passing as "beautiful", you can't help but heartily crack-up at the sheer stupidity of the whole thing.

The rookie writer / director of this tripe, who rumor has it received a bar from harvey weinstein as a signing bonus for shopping his movie to Miramax, has the biggest Quenton Tarantino hard-on imaginable. I have never seen any one director so blatantly rip off another director's style since...well since I first saw a Quenton Tarantino movie.(Miramax, however, apparently came to their senses as they distanced themselves from anything having to do with this mind-numbingly lame piece of shit movie. The movie got no pub and while technically "released" to theaters, it is MOST DEFINITELY considered a straight-to-video film.) I hesitate to use the words "cult film" because in the magical realm of movies "cult", at least to me, has a slightly positive tone to it. I will however use the word "cult" to describe this film if only the word is assoicated with cults like Heaven's Gate or Branch Davidians. Meaning anyone who likes it is whacked out of the gourd, should be castrated, and then coerced to eat some of the "special powdery pudding".


This garbage ass movie is for the type of film "afficianados" who understand that the supreme pinnacle of "how to look really, really cool" in a movie can only be achieved by slow motion. Slow-mo is absolutely necessary to convey "the utmost coolness" for these people and can be effective in just about any situation. Whether its: walking with a group of men, smoking in a darkened bar, emoting with your actor's face all extra actor-ey like, or wantonly random acts of violence. ESPECIALLY wantonly random acts of violence. And MOST ASSUREDLY wantonly random acts of violence in an odd situation. Such as, oh I don't know, maybe perhaps like...two guys climbing through an air duct, plunging head-first through the ceiling and hanging precariously by a rope, upside-down, starting to spin in circles as they blast away with fully loaded semi-automtic pistols at the people scurrying around the room. This movie is for all you people who think its just doesn't get any funnier than when a movie has a spoof of that Matrix bullet-time jump kick. Because nothing in this world is funnier than a million variations of an idea that had only moderate comedic potential in its very first incarnation. And it is without a doubt a movie for all of you so-called independent film fanatics who think a disjointed narrative, even one as pointless and as unecessary as the one in this **shudder** cult film, automatically adds "depth" to a film.

Boondock Saints sucks

say it ain't so!

i need to get around to watching that documentary, though

coming soon to a trailer-park near you!

I think it's still in production, however.

i don't hate the first one as much as you guys, but i saw it not too long ago after i hadn't seen it in years. wasn't that great.

Even though I love the movie. So now, because it hasn't been done yet, and also since I'm apparently the implied head of the T** C***** Internet Fan Club (I see you, Myno! "Really!"), here goes:




Fucking frogs?

He still can't act. And all she's doing is crying over that old man. I wish he'd die already.

Fucking frogs?

Random kids rapping?

3 hours of watching some chick snort coke?

Fucking FROGS?

What a pretentious piece of shit.
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<------Where have all the raspberry women gone?

represses a lot of anger... um... who the fuck cares and why is there a movie about it?

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My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

I be Scrobblin': http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/TasteeTreat/

Happy Gillmore
The Waterboy
Big Daddy
Anger Management

In fact that description describes just about every Adam Sandler movie ever.

re-inventing the slasher film is to make a shitty one with some kid that screams "pancakes"? And the special effects suck! I don't imagine somebody who has just shaved her skin off would look like she just spilled ketchup on herself.

WTF? Please tell me so that I never rent the ish!

to me it's just litter. someone please throw that bag away before it suffocates a duck (c) King_Friday

I like the movie but not as much as I like that quote

>to me it's just litter. someone please throw that bag away
>before it suffocates a duck (c) King_Friday

Haha...Yeah, that was a good one.


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My diminutive DVD collection: http://www.dvdaficionado.com/dvds.html?cat=1&id=kurlyswirl

I be Scrobblin': http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/TasteeTreat/

but that's the best king_friday quote ever

along with *redistributes your wealth*

But I am SURE you can afford to get my man more than one fuckin' sweater. Wherever your little budget went, it wasn't in wardrobe or dialogue, for that matter

>But I am SURE you can afford to get my man more than one
>fuckin' sweater.

Fat Albert?

...does not a movie make.

of a movie that works better than Ambien

they can't fail to be interesting.

Or a retarded adult w/ a really bad He-Man halloween costume?

Has Sean Connery already uttered the inevitable, "I'm gettin 2 old 4 this shit" line yet?

If that dudes really invisible why doesnt he just walk off the set already?

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Yes, it totally sucked!

There's a lot more doves this time

There's a shitty love story this time

Oh would you look @ that. Just when you think her car is outta control & she's heading off the cliff he uses his car 2 gain control of hers & gazes into her eyes while he's doin it. Where's the barf bag?

Amazing how those "masks" look exactly like the person.

Even more amazing how many times this director decided 2 use the mask gimmick when once was good enough in the last flick

And I thought this was a sequel 2 something else other than Face Off.

MI:2 ain't that bad.

sappy love story, cars going over cliffs, masks...

Then I caught all the sequel references. And Tom Cruise did have more hair than in MI:1.

>sappy love story, cars going over cliffs, masks...

I should've combined the 2 cuz I hated Vanilla Sky just as much if not more than MI-2.

...does not a good movie make

>MI:2 ain't that bad.

Compared 2 the 1st one...which I realize wasnt perfect itself...it was terrible.

the monster isn't real
the monster is real again
the monster isn't real, it's the retard
everybody lives in the middle of a fucking nature preserve

most horrible surprise ending(s) ever

------
Baddest Motherfucker in the OkaySports Hall of Fame

Fun in activist:
inVerse: "Can you prove to me that Thunder does NOT come from the god Thor?"
40thStreetBlack: "sure-doppler radar shows no mystical hammers flying around thunderclouds"

>the monster isn't real
>the monster is real again
>the monster isn't real, it's the retard
>everybody lives in the middle of a fucking nature preserve

Or is it Lost?

But killing your husband and making it look like self defense is.
mini spoiler below














J Lo get's the shit kicked out of her the by Bill Campbell. Who are were supposed to root for?

I don't care HOW much he terrorized her, what she did was just fuckin sheisty. Putting that note in the drawer, measuring shit, etc...

She souldn't kill his ass when he was bullyfooting her in the vagina, but she learns boxing and turns his apartment into a Rube Goldberg of pain for him...

"So let me get this straight. Halle chopped up Charles S. Dutton cause she was possessed by the spirit of a dead broad that Dutton raped and killed?"

"Yeah man Roc is no joke."

"And so Halle was committed, cause chopping up ya man with an axe is some crazy ass shit, no matter why you doing it?"

"Yeah especially if you talking bout spirits made you do it."

"On top of that Penelope Cruz was also committed cause she killed her husband and she WASN'T possessed by no spirits?"

"Damn that joint is full of some fine crazy bitches. Get me that straight jacket nigga."

"And Halle busts out of the joint TWICE, but somehow because she proved that her man was bad, they let both her AND Penelope Cruz out of the asylum?"

"Yeah the judge was just like, 'damn maybe she was talking to ghosts all along. Well, fuck it--at least she saved us the trouble of putton Roc on trial. And hell, Halle, ya patna Penelope can go too--just promise us y'all ain't finna chop up nobody else, ha ha ha. I'm just playing. Tell them ghosts I said what up."

then, when they find out the truth, they just up and sign her ass out. A few days later, she's all healthy and walking the streets.

Fuck that, innocent or not, she was STILL in the asylum, talking to herself with her hair sticking up. She still should've went through mad evaluations.

...& go shoot another episode of 24 insteada Hollywood's bad boy strugglin w/ a Bronx accent will ya please?

I love Kiefer's voice in that movie! Phone Booth wasn't that bad. I kinda liked that movie :)

One of the best writers in the world. And people are always f**kin up his stories when converting them to a screenplay (with one exception-Jack was the MAN!)!

The movie sucked ash! HOLLYWOOD: if you want to remake a movie, THIS IS THE ONE TO REMAKE!

Tim Curry was the ish though! "They all float down there!"
(he scared the ish out of me as a kid)

and that one scared the hell outta me as well as a kid.

MySpace
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Check out my brother's band if you have a sec.
http://cdbaby.com/cd/romeoblue

His cd is also on i-tunes.

He's giving a great performance but this movie is terrible.

Is that the chic from Fight Club or Micheal Jackson?

and the monkey in the spacepod? now there's a scene that rivals Ed Norton beating himself up.

Huh, a leper king and a beautiful French princess who hates her hsuband. Whoa, that's original.

Wait, everyone is supposed to be French? Then why the fuck do they all have British accents?

Okay, we get it, everyone has a claim to the Holy Land, but I don't need an elf delviering a wanna-be William Wallace speech to hammer the point into fucking the ground.

He's really much better than this lame ass material. I've already shed tears 4 him after Battlefield Earth & now I'm doing it again.

Waingro from Heat is getting pummeled by Vin Diesel. The scene is going on far 2 long but I guess I should be glad Vin aint talking during it. The last time he opened his mouth he mentioned something about how he couldn't be a made guy cuz of his Sicilian blood, & how we all know what that means. Well yeah I do since I've seen so many movies about these type of guys before (& done much better mind you) but that's still lazy writting.

Seth Green is my comic relief but I need something more when John Malkovich & Dennis Hopper are on the other end literally phoning it in.

they all did

I hate Ben Asslick! He always plays the same wise crackin asshole. Except this time he is a wise cracking, flabby, shades and bad hair by day, and S&M gear wearin asshole by night that gets his ass beat by a chick. He did such a shitty job and to think he said "I took this role because I didn't want anyone else to screw it up."



MySpace
http://www.myspace.com/chaidealo

Check out my brother's band if you have a sec.
http://cdbaby.com/cd/romeoblue

His cd is also on i-tunes.

who the fuck cares about a chopped off ear? Man that director should go film some lesbians or something instead of this shit.

--
"Hey, when that Madden 6000 coming out?" - random Gamestop customer