Disclaimer: the joke is on me man. I hated Dark Knight... But I saw Dark Knight Returns. I loathed Dark Knight Returns...but I saw Interstellar. I've been duped again, coerced once more by Professor Nolan, our day's preeminent hack-posing-as-genius.

This flick goes down as light as Thanksgiving dinner.



Words that should NEVER be uttered more than once in a non-educational movie:

relativity
data
continuum
physics
gravity

With that in mind, I beg you to answer...who is this movie for?


- Cinema heads will deservedly criticize the bloated and pretentious dialogue and blatantly obvious plot holes.

- Actual science nerds will ravage the last 30 minutes mainly because they're incomprehensible fairy tale bullshit.

- average joes who wanna go support their man Matty Mc will hate this because it talks down to you, drags along, and ultimately makes as much sense as Rex Ryan's offenses of the last 5 years.

And McConaughey is the heart, soul, and spine of this sinking pile of leftover meatloaf. If not for him being the most undeniably charismatic actor working today this movie would be DOA.

But that's the Nolan formula now, given that he's got carte blanche from Warner Brothers.

(You know Warner Brothers right? Ya know, the studio left so desperate by their own hubris and Marvel-induced ass kicking that they've resorted to giving this egomaniacal fraud the keys to the kingdom because they have no other strategy for producing hits?

Inception's script is a piece of shit so he hitched his wagon to Leo so you ain't notice.
Prestige is diarrhea so he called in Bale and Wolverine and you swallowed it.
Dark Knight somehow made superheroes humorless, but was miraculously salvaged by Heath Ledger's hurricane of a performance.
Can you imagine what all of this shit would look like with, say, the casting budget of Guardians of the Galaxy?)


It's bogus man:

Nolan does Spielberg-esque numbers, but he never appeals to your ethos like Schindler's List or pulls at your heart strings like ET.

Nolan gets Scorcese-esque buzz, but his sterile anvil-heavy movies NEVER bite like Raging Bull or carry you to a different world like Goodfellas.

Christopher Nolan doesn't simply make movies. Christopher Nolan can't be bothered by blockbusters. Christopher Nolan makes Films with a capital F.

Funny enough, F is the letter grade this movie deserves.

I've sat through more entertaining biology lectures and I've endured more riveting Catholic masses. Fuck Interstellar and fuck Christopher Nolan two times.