You thi>No offense, but this is complete
>and utter Bullshit. I know
>and am related to women
>who have been in this
>situation, I've been in the
>next room and have been
Women who get beat up & decide to leave FIRST have to let go of whatever love they think ties them to heir abuser. They CHANGE their values to include valuing themselves & their safety or that of their children. IF that determination is not made FIRST then the act of leaving (by any means necessary) will not follow...period.

>Considering how many women who more or less think like you,
>get married to Brothas that beat them, your logic doesn't
>hold.

What are you talking about? This conversation is not about black male abusers...its obvious that a woman shouldn't be with an abuser. But eliminate the abusers from the group & there are plenty of black men & women for each other.

>Self Esteem is at the heart of the issue with respect
>to women who get abused, they think they deserve it,
>they're afraid of living without their husbands, they convince themselves that he's a good man, a good provider.....they may even convince themselves they love the man.

Child, you have just made my point. Lack of self esteem is a lack of VALUING self.

>BUT, when the person you think you love, turns out to
>be hamrful to you.....it's self esteem that keeps you in
>that situation....NOT the fact that you believe Love Chooses you.

Alot of these women think that their LOVE for their abuser is something out of their control, that they can't help it. Ask me how I know this, please.

>Getting women out of (and keeping them) out these situations, is a function of teaching them not to be victims (or
>to accept it), to have faith in themselves and have
>the confidence to fight back/leave.
>
>
>It has nothing to do with how they view love.

IT have everything to do with how they view love - and what they value - they don't value themselves or valuing not being divorce, not failing, not being embarassed, not being alone, etc. more.

As for you other points.. I say again, if you value a black mate you will have one. If that's passing judgement so be it... But your actions tell what's important to you. It really is that simple.