europe has a lot of great solutions to the childrearing and pregnancy problems that plague us here

my sister in law is in london and we kept in touch during our concurrent pregnancies and now. her situation was completely different than mine

there are huge differences between pregnancy and childrearing in developed and nondeveloped countries. in addis ababa, there would have been no pregnancy classes. i would have had family nearby to teach me. even if i was employed, my family would have forced me to quit at some point in the pregnancy. i would never have had to carry heavy things or assume any large burdens. my labor would have been quick and unmedicated, as it was, and both my daughter and i would have died within hours of the birth, her for the fluid in her lungs and me for excessive bleeding- unless stitches were available for me.

once i gave birth, tehre would be a steady stream of wellwishers bringing everything that my baby needs. i would be on bedrest, and there would be ceremonies to welcome me into motherhood. my only responsibility would be nursing my child.

in europe, i would have gone on leave a while before the birth. i would have used that time to prepare for the baby. we both would have survived the birth, and then my primary responsibilities would have been nursing and baby things for the next few months while i recuperated.

in america, i worked up until my due date, while in the early stages of labor, suffering frequent contractions at my desk. i was on bedrest the week leading up to my induction, and got done while i could through the pain. both of us survived the birth. for the next week i was resting and nursing and then i had to take on a lot more responsibilities because my husband went back to work. i went back to work after a month, and we can't afford childcare. we both work full time to support the family, in split shifts, meaning niether of us remembers the last time we slept 8 hours in a night. we work around the clock with no support, no family nearby, and no friends who have kids or understand or are interested in the childrearing process.


==**peace**==

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