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Forum nameOkay Activist Archives
Topic subjectso i finally read the article.
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=5901&mesg_id=5925
5925, so i finally read the article.
Posted by akon, Fri Feb-28-03 06:17 AM
and have a couple of questions/comments.

Does society embrace black women more? i mean we all hear about the strikes against being a 1)black 2) woman. but i'm wondering if to achieve success we are having to betray race. obviosly i am thinking condi rice who if i didn't know what she looks like i'd assume white male. Should we be saying that we are breaking the ceiling on gender and race if our afro centric sisters are less likely to achieve success unless they cut the dreads, straighten the hair, forget the cornrows and braids? i dont know too much about corporate america so i guess i am making an assumption and relying on the media... which is definitely only portraying one aspect of it. dont get me wrong, ladies, i am applauding the fact that we are overcoming the boundaries. i just dont think we should comfortably state that we are "breaking the ceiling on race and gender", because the racism still does exist, we are still experiencing it as black women (probably more), it merely speaks volumes that inspite of it we are making it....

Woods Qn: is it our responsibility to support our men. she's talking about finding a man who's straight out of prison (who she feels society is ignoring). Every other woman on the panel though, it talking about, giving up and looking for partners outside their race. How do we feel about this? i think even the whole matriarchy in black families initially was a result of black women coming to the support of the brothers. at the times when it was easier for sisters to get jobs, of course that had some serious connotations, the whole sixties black manhood debate being just one negative manifestation of it. so, should we now give up on black men? or maybe if we have found some magic formulae for success in this white man's world, should we strive to help out our brothers? ....but then again how the hell do you continue to do this if successful black men are very quick to run into the arms of a white woman.... i dont even know what to say about that...

Along with this though, say you have a brother without a degree, compared to your harvard or whatever, how do you reconcile the making more money issues? how do you introduce your 'less successful' partner to your 'professional' circles (thinking soulfood)? is this even an issue we should discuss or is this something more on a 'dependsonthepersonyourwith level??

What are our experiences (if any) growing up without a father/ strong male presence. for me the only time i had a 'father' figure was not necessarily a pleasant experience. prior to that i hadn't felt like i was missing out on anything and after that, still didn't think i had gained something. i dont think this reflects itself in the (male) relationships/friendships i have. and except maybe i have a profound appreciation of our strengths as women. not to minimize the role of a father in a family, obviously. just want to hear 'your' experience with this.

That said. i do look at race as a definitive part of who i can or will not date. i'm sorry but my kids are not going to be biracial. this to me is a personal issue.
that's why it was disturbing for me to read an article that polarizes our society- black women on one side of the ring and men on the other. one side has to succeed at the expense of the other (why dont we ever hear this debate in white circles?). we are sleeping in the same bed so i dont think we should be approaching our success as some sort of threat, or cause for 'other side' to be envious. i would appreciate the article more if we were talking about, okay so we are making it, how do we help our brothers find the same measure of success? dont tell me that because there are 'no' successful black men, then maybe i should start considering white men....