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Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=5901&mesg_id=5915
5915, Read
Posted by ya Setshego, Fri Feb-28-03 04:48 AM
the additional article "Tell It Like it Is", and Ellis Cose's LiveChat discussion on MSNBC. The questions that you raise were addressed therein.

For example, a Brothah wrote into Cose a similar assessment: the article was disturbing, but true.

How is it disturbing? Because we are 5 times as likely as a white woman to be unmarried if we are educated? Because the Brothahs are lagging behind in education? I guess since I am enmeshed in the reality, I am not getting the disturbing part. Particularly for it to be disturbing to Brothahs. If the situation is so disturbing to them, it seems that the ones who DO make it against the tremendous odds that are stacked against them, would choose to stay within their communities in terms of marriage, and I am just not seeing that. The first stats I read on interracial dating/marriage were in Ebony, maybe 15-20 years ago. Two to three times as many Brothahs were marrying white as Sistahs. I think today's statistics are similar, even though the numbers for both sides are rising. "I" think that is a problem. I don't fault the Sistahs though, because what can I say to, "What do you expect me to do? NOT be with a man, just because a Brothah does not want me?" I mean, it is just painful for me to hear that from girlfriends, co-workers, neighbors. One of my best friends is CLEAR on the fact that she wants to marry a white man. She tells me that she has experienced and witnessed close-hand the abuse Brothahs inflict in relationships. She's a soap-opera junkie, so she believes those make-believe images of so-called gorgeous, sensitive, marriage-minded white men is REAL, which contrasts what we have BOTH seen from Brothahs in real life. Now I can argue w/ her that white men are not really like those soap operas, and movies like the Wedding Singer portray them to be, or certainly not all of them. Hell, if you read Cosmo, you'll hear the same complaints about white men from white women, that we have about Brothahs. But what can I tell her about Brothahs? Of course I don't want to give up on them, but at the same time, it is not like we as Sistahs don't have our own issues and challenges that need to be addressed. We cannot spend our time focussed on what they are or are not doing, because we need to be focussed on correcting ourselves in our own areas of weakness. I know we should support them, but I guess I'm asking, how far should we take that? I would be VERY interested to see what Strezzed would have to write about that.