>Let me be clear. I don't disagree with you at all. But the
>REALITY is, that many of our kids don't have anyone like your
>pops or other relatives there to guide and reinforce.

Believe me, I am aware of the reality. One thing I do know is that preaching (to these kids) gets a glazed eye or eye roll response. It takes time and effort to reverse a lot of the conditioning.

>No
>one's arguing that the structure isn't flawed. In fact, I
>believe that *is* the argument -- that there exists a
>structure in our community that celebrates this type of
>behavior...the very behavior that arguably is at the root of
>many of our community ills.

Not just our community. Kids are quick to bring up those "girls gone wild" ads and shows that are all over TV. Those are not Black girls or women portrayed in those ads and look what happened when they went too far...some group of concerned (white?) parents will speak up until the next time. I know some parents who don't allow TV (or radio) in their houses but the kids see and hear those messages outside of the home.

>EXACTLY. Listen, I could wax philosphical for ages (and
>have!) about where the breakdown in our community that lead to
>the proliferation of the "baby mama" era took place, but
>that's not the point. The point is, if your mother was a
>"baby mama," as was your aunt, cousins, friends, and their
>mothers, who are you to learn DIFFERENTLY from?

My (paternal) greatgrandmother and grandmother were "baby mommas", so my Pops thought that we would become the same. Fortunately, we had our mother to counter that by example. Often it takes one generation to break a cycle but there has to be a catalyst, something that motivates or drives people to make a change...and I am not talking about music. We need a movement.

>If we *know*
>this is an issue, then why, as a community, are we creating,
>and then defending, songs like these? I just don't get it.
>I'm not suggesting they ARE the problem, I'm suggesting that
>it compounds an already out-of-control issue in a way that is
>hard to quantify.

Oh, I am not defending (or attacking) the song. I just think it goes deeper than that.

>>Good. I couldn't care less about most things in the media.
>I
>>am busy working with young folks and helping them find their
>>own stories. Some folks think that complaining without
>action
>>is solving a problem. It isn't.
>
>This has a distinct tone that I won't feed into.

This was less a direct comment to you and more of a general observation.