>>Ummm... and if said message is reinforced by the songs you
>>hear on the radio, and the things you see in real life, you
>>don't think that has an effect?
>
>Hearing from my Pops or from a relative has much more of an
>effect. The key word you used is reinforce. You can't just
>criticize these messages without looking deeper to who puts
>out the message and why. People have to figure out a way to
>counter the messages or stop folks from distributing the
>messages. This means the structure must change, so it's not
>the song or the messenger but the structure that should be
>challenged. Change the structure and there is nothing to
>reinforce. Censorship or the suppression of messages that are
>considered offensive is not the answer.

Let me be clear. I don't disagree with you at all. But the REALITY is, that many of our kids don't have anyone like your pops or other relatives there to guide and reinforce. No one's arguing that the structure isn't flawed. In fact, I believe that *is* the argument -- that there exists a structure in our community that celebrates this type of behavior...the very behavior that arguably is at the root of many of our community ills. This song is but one manifestation of this structure, and was the subject of this post. I'm not advocating censorship, rather community responsibility.
>
>>Critical thinking? Do you think critical thinking is what
>>causes 3 out of 4 of our children to be born to single
>parent
>>households?? C'mon, now. That doesn't even make sense. I
>do
>>agree that parents and relatives play an integral role here,
>>but the problem is THEY'RE NOT DOING THEIR JOB
>
>Edit: What is their job?
>
>When I was a kid I sought help to sort out the negative
>messages both from relatives and the media. I discovered that
>while I was smart I was not able to make sense of all the b.s.
>because it was coming from all directions. I had to learn to
>become more aware and how to think even more critically. Why
>do some kids do well (in school) until their preteens and then
>fall through the cracks? I hear all these stories about how
>kids seem to be on the right track and, suddenly, they change
>paths. There is a reason for this...

EXACTLY. Listen, I could wax philosphical for ages (and have!) about where the breakdown in our community that lead to the proliferation of the "baby mama" era took place, but that's not the point. The point is, if your mother was a "baby mama," as was your aunt, cousins, friends, and their mothers, who are you to learn DIFFERENTLY from? If we *know* this is an issue, then why, as a community, are we creating, and then defending, songs like these? I just don't get it. I'm not suggesting they ARE the problem, I'm suggesting that it compounds an already out-of-control issue in a way that is hard to quantify.
>
>>how would you know that
>>there's another way? By listening to Fantasia?
>>
>>Yeesh.
>
>So what you are saying is that by boycotting this one song
>that all the problems are solved? Of course not.

Did I say anything about boycotting? Did you read my post? I *specifcally* said I DO NOT advocate anything like that, particularly b/c I think our efforts are better spent elsewhere.
>
>>>>Actually, I *can't* understand why folks are defending the
>>>>song given all that's going on in our community. But, to
>>>each
>>>>his own.
>>>
>>>I couldn't care less about the song.
>>
>>That's clear.
>
>Good. I couldn't care less about most things in the media. I
>am busy working with young folks and helping them find their
>own stories. Some folks think that complaining without action
>is solving a problem. It isn't.

This has a distinct tone that I won't feed into. But your work is admirable and please keep doing what it is you're doing. Again, this was in response to a post, not a monologue on Fantasia and the media. I said I hate the song (I do.), you asked why, I responded.