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Forum nameOkay Activist Archives
Topic subjectRE: B.S.
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=29051&mesg_id=29172
29172, RE: B.S.
Posted by Nettrice, Sat Apr-09-05 12:42 PM
>I agree, i would say children benefit from: 1. Positive male
>and female role models; and 2. structure and stability.

Yep and not necessarily from marriage.

>Marriage does not prevent that, nor does it
>>prevent a man and woman from participating equally in a
>I agree, but the *best* way to provide it is through marriage.

I disagree. Divorce, separation, adultery, etc. has a very negative effect on the stabilty of a child's environment.

> Children benefit more from having two parents in the home
>rather than one.

I agree with most of this but, in reality, just having positive male and female role models goes a long way.

>Similarly it is better for the child's
>parents to be married, because marriages, on the whole, are
>more stable than relationships.

Nah, I don't go for that. My mother has been married twice and is working on a third. None of these marriages were what I would call stable.

>I agree there are cases where the children are better off with
>the parents living apart, and there are even cases where it is
>best that the children have no contact with one of the
>parents. But this should never be the first option.

Sometimes it is the only option.

>I am too independent spirited to be a wife but I
>>like the idea of a partnership. But who know? I might
>>my mind...but I doubt it.
>"It's too many Black women that can say that they're mothers,
>but can't say that they're wives" - Common

I used to operate on my dolls because I thought I wanted to be a doctor but, in retrospect, I realize it went deeper than that. My mother got tired of me destroying my dolls so she stopped buying them and I got chemistry sets and other things. I was clearly rejecting something. I was not a tomboy but definately not one that went along with the traditional roles for girls and boys or men and women. Marriage may work great for some but I know it's not something I want to do or look forward to. I knew this since I was a teenager.