2816, Do you feel trapped?|
Posted by MizClayton, Thu Nov-20-03 04:29 PM
I've just graduated college, with 21,000 debt. Due to the bad economy, I haven't been able to find a gig.
So, right now I'm doing temp work(9.50 an hour, 8 something with taxes taken out) and ended moving in with my parents to save money.
So, times go by....guess what? Time to start paying 300 dollars a month for loans. Setting me back from my goal to get the heck out of my parents crib (asap), and the heck out of Wichita.
Gotta have car insurance. Gotta buy gas, gotta eat, gotta make car repairs, ect.
In all reality, I'm living comfrotably, I have supportive parents, and I feel blessed for that. But, I feel like I'm spending money to get money, to acheive something I really don't think I want, and the cycle keeps on going, and going....going nowhere.
Then I sit back and wonder what is attaining corporate success or whatever going to REALLY give me? Money...yeah. Happiness...no? What am I working for?
Then I get depressed and come vent on okayplayer.
I feel like society can outline our life for you, not really giving you any options. The way society is set-up, it seems like there are no options. Am I crazy?
I hate going around in a suit, tap dancing for human-resources, tap dancing for execs, being fake, acting like I care about their company when I don't. It's all fake, none of it is me, and what I want for my life, but at the same time, I feel that is the only option that I have right now.
I feel like being true to yourself is a crime, a risk, and it shouldn't be.
Coming out of college is harder than what I thought it would be, emotionally and finacially. Maybe it's just me.
I know I went everywhere with this post, but my main point is I'm feeling trapped right now, with no options, but to continue in the lame outline that society has set for me. (school---------->college---->internship(lots of resume building/tap dancing/butt kissing)----->corp job(more tap dancing).
Is my observation wrong?
Right now, I'm in the process of trying to get this job at Cintas as a manager trainee. Starts at 34k a year, which is good for around here. I honeslty could care less about the job, and it's nothing what I want to really do with my life, but I care about the money, which is what I need. I feel like a slave to the system...no way out without getting burned.
Ideally I want to be self-employed. I want to make money my way, and want to do what I want to do, independently without having to kiss someone's behind. Is it possible at my age, with nothing but debt?