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Forum nameOkay Activist Archives
Topic subjectHair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=23493
23493, Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by nappiness, Tue Jun-06-00 06:37 PM
Image......Self worth..... Loving all that you are. That's an age old topic for Black women. everything we do there's a mental component to it. a few years ago i wrote a poem after i cut all of my hair off. white women thought i was a lesbian and black women wondered if i was going to relax it when it grew back.
"first impressions are a bitch. just b/c a sistah has a relaxer should i assume she hates herself, just b/c a sistah has a head full of locks should i assume she's a revolutionary, just b/c a sistah has a fade should i assume she licks clits......hair-identity-beauty,,,,,first impressions are a bitch"
i think that beauty is not only in the eye of the beholder but it is in each and every one of our eyes, b/c 'to thy ownself by true'. being true to self means that you love yourself and accept yourself, all of yourself, every flaw. not looking at your flaws as something bad but as a love tap from God.
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23494, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Tue Jun-06-00 07:55 PM
I hate first impressions too.
Most of the time theyre wrong, people are always wrong about who i am when i first meet them it bothers me sometimes. But I regretfully find myself judgeing people at times based on their appearance, though i try to compensate and not let that intial judgement taint my interactions with that individual.

hmmmm. i dont know what else to say
23495, i'm a revolutionary w/a relaxer!
Posted by wbgirl, Wed Jun-07-00 04:02 AM
first impressions are a trip, though...which is why i usually tend to be shy around folks i haven't met yet until i can figure out where their minds are...

just sayin'.

~~wbg~~

Chicago 2001...'nuff said!

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23496, agreed
Posted by guest, Wed Jun-07-00 04:10 AM
i agree- i wrote this jawn about natural vs permed and i liked it a lot (c) forest gump-

i love my new hair style- i had twist for about six months and cut it low to a nice fro - and it cool but my friends are asking me when will i get it chemcalized-

and white babes do think that you are a lesbian- they need to learn about the beauty in which we black sistas dwell in- we can look good in any style- on second thought there are a few rooster red weaves - i'd like to get rid of-




what if rosa parks had a car?
jesus christ was a superstar-
didn't imitate escobar
rosa parks had a car
-jazz poet's society
www.jazzpoetssociety.com
23497, RE: i'm a revolutionary w/a relaxer!
Posted by odu, Wed Jun-07-00 04:17 AM
"Is every nigga wit dreads for the cause?
Is every nigga wit gold for the fall? Naw.
So don't get caught up in appearance..."

Can't front though, a sister with a perm would give me pause if she was talking about Pan-Africanism and Black Unity. Just like I have to look sideways at Rev. Al Sharpton, though I respect him, or any Black politician/"leader" with an "other" rather than a sista as his partner.

Y'all women with the bald look (and the short natural 'do) look hella sexy. No lie. I was out in Brooklyn for the DanceAfrica celebration last weekend, and I was glad I was wearing some loose-fitting stuff...
23498, Hmm..
Posted by BooDaah, Wed Jun-07-00 05:27 AM
>Can't front though, a sister with
>a perm would give me
>pause if she was talking
>about Pan-Africanism and Black Unity.

Why though? What does hair texture have to do with desire to be unified as a people?

>I was out in Brooklyn
>for the DanceAfrica celebration last
>weekend, and I was glad
>I was wearing some loose-fitting
>stuff...

Ya know, I think that MIGHT have been a little too much info :-)

------QUOTE STARTS HERE------
BooDaah
OkayActivist Moderator

Sister SheRise's Activist Stew Recipe:
step 1. inform yourself
step 2. inform others
step 3. discuss the problem
step 4. DISCUSS SOLUTIONS
step 5. EXECUTE SOLUTIONS
step 6. evaluate how well the solution worked
step 7. start over at 1 until desired result is accomplished.
-----------------------------
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23499, RE: Hmm... well see
Posted by Nubia, Wed Jun-07-00 07:32 AM
Its like this...
who you are should be evident in all that you do. so its kind of a self representation thing. you have to wonder why sistahs relac thier hair. is it really to make it more managable? and then some will say trend but you must question the confidence and understanding of the trend setters. and also where the whole idea of hair relaxer came from. it certaintly didnt originate from self love and self confidence. NoW on the other hand... looking past all that... your appearance really cant speak for your intelligence motive or amount of "consciousness". there are somethings that are strictly stereotypical. I mean I have seen many a loced headed brotha wit a white woman. and many sistahs screaming revolution at the top of they lungs... head wraped and all be the biggest detriment to revolution that you could think of... they aint raisin that children properly... sleepin with this man and that man... I mean its really all about what resides inside. but society has taught us to judge books by thier covers. and then condemn us for doing so.

may the vibration of vitality resonate through your existence

Amina NiaRa (Nubia)
________________________________________
I am the highest Physical mental and spiritual projection of woman consciousness... I represent the abundance of life, health, wealth, love and beauty.

You write like I breathe. It sustains you, like the air drawn into my lungs sustains me. Please keep breathing.
- mikeONE
________________________________________
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L.I.V.E.
23500, RE: Hmm..
Posted by odu, Wed Jun-07-00 11:50 AM
Hair texture, like your choice of clothing and the food that you eat, represent your outlook on life. I refuse to believe that someone who is completely comfortable with the natural texture of their (African) hair would then pump it full of damaging chemicals that sting, burn and straighten your coils into submission. If you choose to go through the process, conscious of all that it means to our history as a people, then it makes me suspicious of your commitment to the cause of unity. It says to me that your pride in your biological and cultural heritage is subordinate to what the dominant culture finds acceptable.

But I ain't mad atcha, 'cause we all gotta do what's right for us. I hate the fact that people go to salons to grow their locks, for instance. Why the fuck would you go to fabricate with beeswax and hair glue something that is supposed to be a representation of your love for your natural self? Locks grow naturally on Black folks hair; that is the purpose of growing them. If you have to go and get them "started", or want to style them this way or that, just be aware of the fact that you're no different from the white or Asian cat that pays $400 for his 'do. If it's about a style for you, then that's fine, but don't get all self-righteous about "white Rastas" when you're rocking store-bought locks your damn self.

I feel similarly about folks who don't use the term "African American" because its "vague", yet have no problem tagging the term "African" on anybody from the continent, regardless of their culture, region of origin, religion etc. If I'm an "African", why aren't you an "African American"? That one's for you, BooDah.

23501, Tasty...
Posted by BooDaah, Wed Jun-07-00 06:35 PM
>I feel similarly about folks who
>don't use the term "African
>American" because its "vague", yet
>have no problem tagging the
>term "African" on anybody from
>the continent, regardless of their
>culture, region of origin, religion
>etc. If I'm an "African",
>why aren't you an "African
>American"? That one's for you,
>BooDah.

I'll be washing the salty from that one off for days. :-)

I distain post jacks, so why not start a new thread. If you really want to discuss this I'll be happy to elabrate there.
------QUOTE STARTS HERE------
BooDaah
OkayActivist Moderator

Sister SheRise's Activist Stew Recipe:
step 1. inform yourself
step 2. inform others
step 3. discuss the problem
step 4. DISCUSS SOLUTIONS
step 5. EXECUTE SOLUTIONS
step 6. evaluate how well the solution worked
step 7. start over at 1 until desired result is accomplished.
-----------------------------
** PLEASE READ THE POSTING GUIDELINES:
http://www.okayplayer.com/guidelines.html
23502, RE: Tasty...
Posted by odu, Wed Jun-07-00 08:28 PM
No disrespect intended, so I hope none was taken. Just wanted to know where you were coming from with that. I doubt if it would justify a whole thread though; we'd probably just end up posting back and forth to each other. Hopefully, a better forum will come up?
23503, same
Posted by bonamie, Wed Jun-07-00 05:40 AM
I am met with ill looks and comments tho by the "more righteous." Someone used the Dre quote already and that's all I'm saying. We can't keep using things like appearance to stop us from building and not focusin on the issues at hand. Wasting time.......

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23504, same
Posted by guest, Wed Jun-07-00 05:51 AM
i agree- i don't see my decision to remain natural as some manifesto against the system and all my permed sisters are leading the life of the wicked- Hey some of my relatives have perms-

but really- there was a phase for me like that, but i got over it real quick- (i'd like to think so) for me it was more of a defense to all the questions and condescending comments i received from family members, etc.

but - i'm not hatin' on nobody- cause a lot of times their style is just fashion not a call to action- and that's how it goes when you live in a society that appropriates the 'underground' and makes it mainstream so that the subversive message that could or could not have been intended has been subverted- i don't think this is a conscious process it's just the way capitalism works- (does capitalism really fit here, i just like blaming a lot of things on it)

paz

what if rosa parks had a car?
jesus christ was a superstar-
didn't imitate escobar
rosa parks had a car
-jazz poet's society
www.jazzpoetssociety.com
23505, Funny thing about 1st impressions
Posted by nappiness, Wed Jun-07-00 06:17 AM
i don't know what's worse me being having no or little hair, or be having locks. i now have locks that are a little over shoulder length, i have an eye ring, a tattoo of africa, and i am not a stickler for fashion (neat, clean, comfortable, and ironed is my philosophy). with this said i get varying responses from people but the most interesting response is when i am in a setting with 'so-called' professionals or in the presence of bourgie Black folks (shouldn't use words if you can't spell them *smile*). They are often surprised or amazed when they find out i have a masters degree and that my head is screwed on tight. i don't react b/c their disbelief or insecurities are their problems not mine. often it's hilarious and i let them know that they are my entertainment. i say, don't sweat the small stuff, do yo thang and be yo'self. and if you dare to be different be confident in your decision and hold yo head up high. but i do think that if you are not 'the perceived' norm, don't get upset when someone has something to say; ya know how Black folks are.
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23506, My hair grows in notty spirals....
Posted by AusetTiye, Wed Jun-07-00 07:24 AM
When I first heard that line from Rza I was studying a lot of info from the 5% nation. I remember reading DaGhettoTymz(Heads aint ready!! Dont sleep!!) and an article was talking about how the universe spirals, and how we as a people were directly connected to the universe through our skin(melanin) and our hair. I have never forgotten that, because it empowers you to go beyond yourself

So, I love my hair, nuff said :-)






~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Pouring out a lil sizzzzzzeerrrrrppp for my Boondocks peeps that aint here....

AIM Name be like Priestess B

Who says first impressions are everything? Its when I'm gone that I leave you to ponder



23507, RE: Funny thing about 1st impressions
Posted by b00g1e, Fri Jun-09-00 11:34 AM
sister? is an eyering what i think it is?....whay and eyering..I know this is totally off the subject...but the idea of walking around with a hoop in my eyelid sounds painful and irratating...
23508, eyering
Posted by nappiness, Mon Jun-19-00 09:45 PM
well since you ain't got one then you can't speak on it being painful or irritating. actually, it didn't hurt at all and it is not irritating. maybe i need to clarify, it is a brow ring.
furthermore, of all that i said that's all you commented on?
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23509, RE: eyering
Posted by b00g1e, Fri Jul-07-00 10:18 AM
Yes..cause I've had this dialog and have come to satifactory answer for myself....so I personally dont feel the need to discuss it further....
23510, Free your hair....
Posted by nushooz, Wed Jun-07-00 07:57 AM
and the rest will follow

Me? No, hair! Love it! The abscence of hair has allowed me kinds of freedom that are too much to speak of in a post. THIS IS FOR ME!

I ain hatin on women who prefer to perm. Hell, I used to be one of them!

Impressions? It's hard to say. I got hit on more after I cut my hair. But by lesbians? NO. I guess my "strictly dick-ly" attitude preceeds me. :D

Where you are with your hair is about the same as where you are in your spirituality/with your God. And that's a little hard to explain, too. But if you FREE YOUR HAIR (and free your mind regarding your hair) the rest will indeed follow!

Live from the Shoe Sto'
NuShooz
I,I, I Can't Wait!
23511, tha shit I go through
Posted by Nubia, Wed Jun-07-00 08:16 AM
now my momma is Egyptian ... she had hair down to her waiste when she first came here... and so does just about every woman in her family. "I am the odd one out" because I am brown skinned with tightly coiled hair. but the strangest thing is when people assume that I should have bone straight silky hair because of my heritage. I know just as well as anyone what this whole judging a book by its cover thing is about. I grew locs in my hair... and after two years just like that I shaved them off... two weeks later I put in braids. now what Im sayin here is... people assumed that I was a sistah not ta be reckoned wit when I had locs... I mean I am generaly quiet and I dont say much until its needed. but the moment I put braids in folks just took me lightly... as if I was docile or shy... I mean it truly amazed me the way people reacted to my diferent hair styles... I mean whats even funnier is how a larger variety of brothas approached me before got locs... after that only the "enlightened typed" approached a sistah... not that its bad but this just displays the job that scoiety has done on our minds. this is yet another mental chair that we must break through.

may the vibration of vitality resonate through your existence

Amina NiaRa (Nubia)
________________________________________
I am the highest Physical mental and spiritual projection of woman consciousness... I represent the abundance of life, health, wealth, love and beauty.

You write like I breathe. It sustains you, like the air drawn into my lungs sustains me. Please keep breathing.
- mikeONE
________________________________________
wordsdivine@hotmail.com
L.I.V.E.
23512, RE: tha shit I go through
Posted by cynnderela, Mon Jun-12-00 08:37 AM
I hear ya I hear ya
Seems like whenever I get braids men can't seem to leave me alone - and I'm not just talkin brothas - even old white rich guys in Caddies be tryin to pimp on me in the street... my hair is nappy, sometimes in a 'fro sometimes in l'il twists and I'm cute then, but I expect that with every set of braids an influx of male interest will come...neva really understood it though...oh well
-miss cynn
23513, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Wed Jun-07-00 03:33 PM
okay, im not sure if any of what ima say has any thing to do w/ what is at hand, (my replies usually go on tangents) but anyway...
my uncle was a black panther, my dad is a pan africanist, and my mom, well she could care less. my biological father is a muslim, and a he is also a pan africanist.

ummmmmmm well most of the time, i wear my hair wrapped up in my scarf, and sometimes in a tam, altho i dont have dreads. my hair is naturally long, and i perm it, ish i have a burgundy dye in it now. my hair makes me no less for "the cause" or the revolution then a sista w/ dreads, or hair that isnt processed. i dont hink my hair has nay thing to do w/ what i want to do in my community or for my ppl.

actually, i dont think ppl are stunned when they see me or shocked, i wont say i blend in, but i dont feel i stand out. ive began to care less about what ppl think of me, it is a waste of my time.

eff a sig.
23514, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Thu Jun-08-00 04:25 AM

I agree.

People worry so much about what others think.
Permed, Nappy...who cares.
My hair is not by far what makes me--ME!

People are going to hate regardless..Whether it's your hair,your size,etc.
People try to come up with solutions for things that will always be.
If its not hair then it will always be something that makes you pre-judge someone. Everyone has done it..Eventhough it doesn't make it right.But it will always be like that...Hater's are everywhere!!

SO perm it..pick it...whatever ya like!!
We are beautiful regardless!!!!!!!!!!!!

_____________________________________
Signature...who's reading them anyway?
23515, the inside part
Posted by fire, Thu Jun-08-00 04:27 AM
it's what's on the inside that matters, i wait for that to show up then i move to the hair. this thread reminds me of the SUmmer of Sam movie when richie is a punk rocker and they assume he's a serial killler. spike lee has always got some social commentary going on.:-)


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23516, RE: I dunno, about all that
Posted by GirlChild, Thu Jun-08-00 05:42 AM
Now, let me start by saying that I totally agree that nobody should judge you by the way your hair looks. Growing up, just because my hair was long and I had "GOOD HAIR" I was treated wrongly Black girls used to pick on me and call me all types of names, and brothers used to pull my hair to see if it was real and call me an oreo or say I thought I was all that and that I thought I was a white girl. They only thought I would date white boys. It wasn't until I got my first boyfriend, who was black, did they begin to accept me and treat me kind. All that bullshit for my hair. As I went to college my hair became an issue for me because it was so thick and I didn't know how to handle it. I eventually grew out my perm and began to wear it naturally. As I did I began reading and really getting politically active in my enviornment. I came to realize that we as black women end up becoming a slave to that relaxer. Constantly going to the hairdresser to get it blown out or pressed. I think we began to get caught up in appearances. Someone earlier spoke about the originally reason we began to relax our hair. It was to fit in with the white culture. I assimilate and look like them. I can't knock a sis that is preaching consciousness and is rocking a perm, BUT I will question their confidence in themselves. I would question how much they truely love themselves. I also want to comment on those with locks that don't understand their meaning. I want to lock my hair in the future, but at this time in my life, I don't feel that I am spiritually ready for all the responsibilities that come it locks. When you lock your hair, you must understand that you have made a conscious or unconscious decision. You have stated that you are nurturing your heritage and culture. You are embracing the beauty that is black people. It kills me when I see brothers with locks with white girls. I just don't understand how you could be preaching black power, and then be kissing the one that you say is your oppressor? I just feel that when it comes to dreadlocks, don't grow them if you don't know the meaning of them. If you aren't going take the responsibilities that result from them, then don't grow them.
My art is my life, my creation is my love.

23517, i am enjoying the dialogue
Posted by nappiness, Thu Jun-08-00 07:12 AM
i don't think there is any comparison btwn. Black folks with locks (no matter if they are store bought or grown w/out assistance) to white Rastas.
i am enjoying the dialogue b/c i see how i use to be in so many of your comments. i attended a predominately white university and in that environment i grew to HATE white people. but also in that environment i came to love my mentor, which is a white woman.
the thing is that, you love each person in your life differently. no matter what, she's still a honky, but i know her beyond the history of institutionalized racism.
i got a lot of slack b/c i was known for being proactive, a revolutionary, and for my activism on/off campus. but you live and learn.
i use to volunteer w/children with Aids, the disabled, and kids with learning disabilities. My heart went out to them and race never was an issue in me showing compassion.
we are human and human nature sometime prevails. we as humans are all longing for the same things, to love, be loved, and to know that someone cares about you. no one can exist alone in this world.
so, the moral of this story goes a little away from the hair issue but underlying the hair issue is the RACE issue.
people, please don't alienate or judge a sistah b/c of her hair. that's a personal journey that you go through w/yourself. and that journey is sacred and personal.
one's hair does not neccesarily take away from what that person has to offer 'the cause' and it doesn't determine where one's heart is in terms of being dedicated to the upward mobility of African people displaced in the u.s.
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23518, we aren't in utopia
Posted by nappiness, Thu Jun-08-00 07:14 AM
in utopia it wouldn't matter but in this country it does.
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23519, RE: we aren't in utopia
Posted by odu, Thu Jun-08-00 10:23 AM
Exactly.
23520, see...
Posted by LordLadypharr, Thu Jun-08-00 03:28 PM
THAT HAIR MESS IS SICK...
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS GOOD OR BAD HAIR...

pharr THE KOREAN PIMP GODDESS has spoken

"I'm sucking on SOMETHIN'"-LeroyB

"Sonya & pharr Chicago's sexiest and baddest pimps since 1999"

"Toc & J_Sun the other WHITE meat!!"-pharr

O.K.P.D.D.A(Okayplayette Double D Association)
Sonyasimone-President
LordLadypharr-Vice President
Krylonwifey1979-Treasurer
Serena_Love-Secertary


"Open your eyes I can not be what I am not"-Esthero
_________________________________
STILL A PROUD KNICKS FAN !!!WHAT !!!
23521, personaly
Posted by Nubia, Fri Jun-09-00 05:15 PM
I am hella proud ta be recognized as someone with nappy hair... good hair? bad hair? wtf? uuuuuum we all know what that shit is about... we also all know that at one time or another that description of a sistah or brotha has exscaped from our mouths even if jokingly so.
we just gotta erase all the negativity behind all a these words...


may the vibration of vitality resonate through your existence

Amina NiaRa (Nubia)
________________________________________
I am the highest Physical mental and spiritual projection of woman consciousness... I represent the abundance of life, health, wealth, love and beauty.

You write like I breathe. It sustains you, like the air drawn into my lungs sustains me. Please keep breathing.
- mikeONE
________________________________________
wordsdivine@hotmail.com
L.I.V.E.
23522, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by illosopher, Thu Jun-08-00 04:44 PM
We must strive to transcend this superficial meterial bondage we are enslaved in.

23523, BIG PICTURE: DOES IT REALLY MATTER?
Posted by guest, Fri Jun-09-00 09:37 AM
I have worn my hair natural, mostly I slap a weave up in it; but whatever I choose to do, who am I hurting, really? The natural thing is cool for some but I just don't like it for me. Just like a woman with dreads may not like the way she looks with a weave in her hair. It's a personal choice thing. Women and men should stop judging each other based on hairstyles and clothing because it is all just bullshit. We have too many damn problems, starting with violence and drugs for instance, to be so worried about how someone wears their hair! I'm a black woman, I was born a black woman, I love being a black woman and no matter how many weaves I put in my hair, I'm going to remain a black woman. Picture me, in my regular pants and tank top, weave blowing in the wind, standing next to a woman with locks, who is wearing african garb; who is to say that she is blacker than I? No one can say that because it is after all, only a look and we are all beautiful when you really get right down to it. We, as a race, punished because of our differences, should be the last ones to criticize each other over hairstyles and such. Some slaves in the field criticized slaves in the house, but what they failed to realize is that the slave in the house wasn't in a better position, because he was still after all, a slave. Maintaining or zapping naps does not make one person better than another. In the big picture, we are all still in the same boat. We don't want people to stereo-type us, so why the hell are we stereo-typing each other? We need to work more on what's on the inside of a person and embrace outside differences. News flash: Not all women who relax and wear weaves have self-esteem problems. Not all women who relax and wear weaves are ignorant when it comes to knowing who they are. That's mainly a cop-out or a well disguised way some people go about putting someone down because that person chooses to be different. I know who I am, where I came from and how I like to wear my hair. No one knows who I am better than me except God, and I'm quite sure the almighty could care less about what I do or what I don't wear on my head. Let's get over this and start loving each other. This shit is ridiculous. This isn't a personal attack on anyone; just my opinion.;-)

Love ~ Kahoona

"Hatin' is for Satan" ~ Kahoona
23524, MY SISTAH, MYSELF
Posted by nappiness, Sun Jun-11-00 03:15 PM
So, when you say you ain't hurting nobody. i see it like this, before you go to the store to buy a relaxer, to buy a weave, to buy dye or anything else to put in your hair, there is a mental process. you (universal you, i am not singling you out)first say to yourself i don't like me. i don't like my hair. in many cases it is so ingrained in our psyche that 'nappy is bad, short is bad on a woman' but 'long, straight, and silky is good' that we fall for the okeydoke and buy all of this shit to alter all this is 'bad'. let's think about the name of products and how they are advertised 'dark and lovely' the woman on the commercial has long straight black hair swaying back and forth. 'no more tangles', use to have the girl getting her hair combed and then her mom sprays 'no more tangles' in her hair and then she stops crying. we have been conditioned to hate our hair.
there is a children's book called 'nappy hair' by a black author. there was such an uproar about this book among Black folks. Why? b/c we think nappy is a bad thing, we think that nappy makes us inferior. ain't shit wrong with our hair, but b/c we've internalized all that has been told to us we think we are ugly or bad. just like big lips and broad noses, yeah they are big but they are still beautiful. i could color coat it and say full lips, but for what?
many women don't even know how to style, manage, or maintain their hair in its natural state, and that i think is a damn shame.
so, it is my responsibility to dialogue and question sistahs on why they do the things they do to themselves. it ain't to judge, it is to strengthen us as a unit.(sorry for the grammar errors and typos)
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23525, RE: MY SISTAH, MYSELF
Posted by guest, Mon Jun-19-00 03:49 AM
Sometimes, the way someone chooses to looks is not for us to question. Some women just don't choose to wear their hair natural, and that's it. There isn't always some deep rooted problem they need to address. There isn't always a self-esteem problem. The questioning of a sista should start and end with what's in her heart, not with what she wears in and on her hair. Love for a sister should be unconditional whether she is natural or relaxed. This hair thing shouldn't even be an issue. Truly.
23526, Every choice you make has meaning
Posted by nahymsa, Thu Jul-06-00 02:37 PM
Let's not lie to ourselves...

people can & will wear their hair whichever way they want but the choice to relax or not does have cultural, political, social & personal significance that can't be ignored just because people don't want to explore it.

What's in your heart governs the choices that you make about what's on your head too. If black love was truly unconditional then less people would be perming...but we all know its not, that's why 85% of black american women perm...somebody told them something was wrong with the look GOD gave them. Its not about individuality - 85% of us rocking straight hair makes us all the same..not different.



23527, do yall know the power of the "napp"
Posted by Nubia, Fri Jun-09-00 05:17 PM
I mean seriously speaking... our tight coils or "napps" are recipticals of kenetic energy... it also has a lot ta do with the nurturing of our melanin


may the vibration of vitality resonate through your existence

Amina NiaRa (Nubia)
________________________________________
I am the highest Physical mental and spiritual projection of woman consciousness... I represent the abundance of life, health, wealth, love and beauty.

You write like I breathe. It sustains you, like the air drawn into my lungs sustains me. Please keep breathing.
- mikeONE
________________________________________
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L.I.V.E.
23528, Redefined
Posted by Nettrice, Fri Jun-09-00 06:33 PM
In 93' I chopped off my carefree curl to go natural for good. As the hair grew, I began to experiment and, eventually, created my own signature style of twists and cornrows coiffed up in elaborate designs. I had found a hair identity that was all my own. Even when flat twists became the trend, my own version stood out. My hair journey is very personal and I never duplicated the style on anyone else's head. Then, things began to happen:

Recently, during a week-long stay in New Orleans, I was complimented by several people who said they never saw my style before. Many of the sistah's had elaborate styles themselves.

Last weekend, I was in the store looking for some synthetic colored hair to twist into my haven't-been-processed-for-years hair and I ran into a sistah who admired my do, so much so she wanted to know how much I charged to do other people's hair.

An Asian lady eating a buffet-style lunch in an Indian restaurant asked me how long it took to do my hair. She called it a work of art and when I told her I did it myself she got up from the table and came over to make a fuss.

Suddenly, I discovered how my own styling efforts had improved my self esteem. People think I am high maintenance but every two weeks I take a weekend by myself to redo my hair. It's like meditation or a special getaway just for me.

In a society where Black women's hair is more about politics than personal choice, I decided to make a statement about personal power, creativity and freedom. Now I am looking at doing the same with my job.

"No matter who you are or what your age may be, if you want to achieve permanent, sustaining success, the motivation that will drive you toward that goal must come from within." - Ultramagnetic MCs
23529, Hey yo, Bust it.........
Posted by incogx, Sat Jun-10-00 03:07 PM
This is a complex issue. You have to look at it from different perspectives. Relaxed hair doesn't always = self hate, but I think that 95% of the time there is a certain psychological element to it. I mean the undeniable truth is that back when relaxers and hot-combs were invented, black folk were trying to look white. That shit is true to life. Moving forward to the 21st century many relaxed sistas don't consciously think they want white hair, but wwwwaaaaaaaaaaaayyy too many still do. We've all heard people saying stuff like, "damn, your hair is getting nappy!" as if our hair's natural state is unnatractive. I hate that shit. Black folk don't even realize how psychologicaly damaged we are saying stuff like that. There is nothing more beautiful than a natural haired sista. But at the same time I love my sistas with staight hair too. Some relaxed sistas have themselves together mentally more than the avg natural sista. It's different from person to person. It's not always black and white.

Basically what I'm trying to say with this longwinded post is I think it's effed up when society makes women feel that they "NEED" to relax their hair. If a sista CHOOSES to do that just for the hell of it then its all good. But when yall yall think that you look undesireable with natural hair that shit is wack. You're letting European standards lessen your own self worth.

And another thing, if you have locks, then represent them properly dammit! Study about what's behind dreadlocks. It's much more than a hairstyle or trend. I cut mine off a few years ago because I wasn't representing them in my way of life, but I'm back on point now and I've been growing them back for 2 years now. Do the knowledge on your locks!

Peace,
Incog

"look inside yourself/ your spirit has naps that can't be relaxed" ...Incog
23530, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Sat Jun-10-00 04:28 PM
In this day and age when so many women who are gay or dykes and that is how they look with short hair to take on hard harder look (I don't know why)
assumption is a bitch to assume that you are gay because of your hair
yes i have looked at women with very short hair and thought maybe she is gay, but you have to have a certain look about yourself also of course it itsn't just the hair



"If I DON'T LIKE It, I DON'T LIKE IT, THAT DON'T MEAN THAT I'M HATIN'" ~COMMON

"I GOT LOVE IN THE FACE OF HATE" ~ TALIB KWELI

"We either niggas or kings or bitches or queens"~ Mos Def

"I DON'T GET MANY COMPLIMENTS, BUT I AM CONDIFDENT," ~ TALIB KWELI


PEACE & BLESSINGS
23531, Don't worry. Once...
Posted by guest, Sun Jun-11-00 04:58 PM
Black women experience the freedom and confidence that comes with ridding their hair of that stress and strife, they won't want to go back the straight-hair way of life again. At least, that's what happened to me.

I had relaxed hair from age 12 to 24. I had braids. Took them down and got a fade. I had many issues with self confidence and insecurities, so it seems that I would never allow my hair to go unrelaxed. After all, i cried and whined at times in my life because i couldn't geta "touch up", b/c I literally thouhgt I was ugly with NAPPY hair.

How could that be? My God made me with extra curly hairs sprouting naturally from my scalp. How could that not be beautiful. It's the way God wanted it.

So, i no longer give a damn about what my family, my husband, my coworkers or anybody else thinks (it's a little ruff in the professional world, but eff em!).

So, now, 2 years later, i enjoy braiding, twisting, cornrowing, palmrolling, and whatever else I can create. It is joy that I would not trade for anything.

I think it's less about being conscious and more about not masking the true, original and natural physical beauty that we have.
23532, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by cynnderela, Mon Jun-12-00 09:04 AM
I've been wearing a natural hairstyle for about 3 someodd years and it hasn't brought me to a level of spritual enlightenment nor is it a proclamation of my heritage. I'm just plain lazy to be perfectly honest. My mom was an ol'skool hairstylist and even though she was at her peak during the Black Power movement, she still lived by the perm and dyed by the perm. And when I was little, she used to have to literally chase me to get that perm in my head - invariable I'd end up crying from that burnin sensation that if you've had it done you never forget. In pictures, I was that little girl on the "Just For Me" box - long silky tresses with the Shirley Temple curls. That was a hard bitch to pull of though, the perming, greasing, curling irons. And it never really got me anything except a handful of compliments from relatives I never see.
And then came the hotcombs when my scalp got too sensitive for the relaxer. That too meant more pain.
Then finally, one day, after I had taken out a nice set of braids and was done washin my hair, I noticed I was now in possession of an Afro. I was a little shocked but I figured "Low key, low maintenance...can't get much better than that." 3 years and 4 inches later I've still got the natural hair, although I'm still trying to get mom's to like it. Now though, I'm getting compliments from people I actually care about.
It's just that I never understood how you could ever call relaxing your hair more manageable - the upkeep is, to me, just not worth the results.
As for weaves and braids, I have nothing against them - I look good with long hair, I just don't feel like dealing with it.
People have their own reasons for doing things and if you keep your hair natural for sociopolitical reasons, more power to ya. as for me, whats one girls statement is another girls convenience.
23533, Content of Book??
Posted by guest, Mon Jun-19-00 05:30 AM
Always start with Peace:

Speaking for myself, I have decided not to perm my hair any longer because the thought of LYE burning the pores on my scalp (where my brain is located) and seeping in was suspect. When I read about how cancer cold be resulted from trying to have managable hair that was the last straw for me. BUT refinement doesn't stop there...cause that's just the OUTSIDE of the book. For the same reasons I stopped eating meat and dairy (takes 36 hrs to digest one sitting of meat, if your mind is busy concentrating on digestion your body slows down, hence the "itis") I started reading the right books. Stopped kissing the wrong people (cause will he be there ready for the revolution or will he be against it?). Stopped taking aspirin and other pills. Stopped getting vaccines (HIV, Syphillis..history repeats itself). Stop using cell phones (radiation to the brain). Stopped telling ALL my business on the phone and e-mail (airwaves reach right back to the wrong hands, believe it!) A lot of things changed in order for me to be "righteous" and "ready" for myself and the revolution. The BOOK must change all around. Not just on the surface and not just for show to everyone else. Before you get the poison out your hair...get it out of your mind, body and soul! Whats in the inside of your Book??

Peace
Beyond_Levels (and ready)

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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Its not a black & white thing..its about a HOMELESS people trying to find their home.

Uncle (Sam): We're calling about your outstanding bill. You are behind two months in payment.

Me: I know.

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Me: Pay back is a part of the plan.

Uncle (Sam): How will you pay?

Me: Just take it out of the 40 acres and a mule that you owe me.... PLUS the interest!

Even a fol drops jewels...except if your name is Jay Z.- me


23534, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Mon Jun-19-00 02:25 PM
Don't have much to say since a lot has been said already. But to paraphrase Marcus Garvey:

Leave the naps in your hair and get the naps out of your brain.

If you want to rock a perm, cool. Just make sure your doing it for YOU not because momma gonna disown you if you don't.


Blessings beyond...


"Dat was some good shit!"-my girl CoCo

"That sound like brand-new shade"-me

"I think you need to jump back!!!"-my mama

"I don't want no peace. I need equal rights and justice."-Peter Tosh

"Like I really give a shit what you think!"-me

"Hot damn hoe, here we go again."-Lil Kim
23535, people need to learn
Posted by Vet, Tue Jun-20-00 10:14 AM
our children need to be taught that the natural state of their hair is beautiful because that's the way God intended it. like me, moms relaxed my hair when i was 9, not because she wanted me to look "white" she was tired of fighting me with and the pressing comb. well y did she use a pressing comb in the first place? mom's didn't know how to deal with all this thick stuff. she didn't care about the naps, she cared about not taking 2 hrs to comb my hair. she didn't know how to work with it and that's where the problem lies.

if you don't know how to take care of it then you're going to do the easiest thing you can. most of the young girls now are being pushed into getting relaxers by THEIR PARENTS not their PEERS. their parents' perceptions are being pushed off on the innocent children. it's a mentality that's spoon fed from generation to generation.

people equate natural to revolutionary because of the "Black Power" Movement. during this time of our history folks went back to the naturals etc as a rebellion to the white establishment and to reclaim their connection to thier innerselves. they wanted to stop the cycle of self hate and show people that being black is beautiful and blessed thing. it seems to me that we are just coming full circle again.

nothing wrong with relaxing your hair or being natural as long as you are doing it for the right reasons. dig?


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23536, Hair
Posted by guest, Thu Jul-06-00 08:22 AM
A little over a year ago, I decided to go natural. I always wanted to lock my hair and now I have the opportunity. My friends could not believe it, because I was the supreme relaxer girl. I have done it all to my hair and some folks said I was going through a phase. No phase here!!! But I wrote a poem about my journey....

When I first made the committment, there were plenty of naysayers
"I believe you, but I know you. We'll see."
After a while things began to grow and I remained cool
I was enjoying it so much, people couldn't believe
"Girl, I thought you would have given up by now"
This is important to me
Something that I want to do, it is just natural
Now when times are hard and I am warring with myself.....I can get no encouragement
"Girl, hold on for just a while longer"
"Come on back, be just like us"
"What you can't hang with the real ones?"
Conformity, something I never appreciated
Why can't I do something for me and it be about me?
No trends are being followed
Just dreams being fulfilled
Besides..... it's MY hair.

Copyrighted 2000 by TC Joyner

If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. ~W.H. Auden
23537, RE: Hair
Posted by guest, Fri Jul-07-00 09:27 AM
Personally, I have struggled wit this issue for the last year . . . I converted back to a perm after 4 years of a natural state. . .why??? well basically, I got tired of looking "the same." As a person who needs diversity, I just got tired of that same hairstyle.

But I must admit I feel as if Ive lost some of my "powers" . .. . .anyhoos people shouldnt judge on first impressions b/c as someone said above (cant remember who), usually the most "revolutionary brah or sis" is the most triflin. (this is generalizing I know but oh well. . .and it is just an exaggeration).

Basically dont be quick to judge and to thine own God and self be truth. .eff what everybody else says.

and thats my 2 cents
peace
lee-lee
**********
"damn that, i am not the dancin bear"
Keisha R. metaphor orator extraordinaire

"outta everybody I met who told
the truth, time did" Common, The Truth


23538, RE: Hair-Identity-Beauty--1st Impressions are a Bitch
Posted by guest, Tue Jul-11-00 08:20 AM
as a sista with natural hair, i have mixed emotions regarding the response i get from folks concerning my "look". on the one hand, so many people are so positive...they give me much love in the form of verbal compliments about my natural style. on the other hand, sometimes i get these hostile glares from other sistas when they see my hair. it's as if they not only disapprove, they are angry at me for looking "different". i also get uncomfortable when people assume that i'm a "conscious" sista just because my hair is natural. i believe the term "consciousness" is used way to lightly nowadays, because consciousness is not something we achieve overnight via a hair style. although i believe i am a part of a continual process towards consciousness, i don't think any of us have actually reached it yet. anyway, just as sistas with relaxers sometimes negatively judge sistas with natural hair, natural sistas also sometimes negatively judge sistas with straight hair. i think we need to move beyond our hairstyles and focus on loving ourselves (as a collective) we need to be about revolution on a large-scale...we got no time for petty negativity and hostility.

peace,
z
23539, chickenheads with locks and revolutionaries with relaxers
Posted by breeze, Tue Jul-11-00 03:04 PM
I've written and spoke with a lot of sistas on this and i've come to the conclusion:

That all although the way you wear your hair doesn't give the full story on your state of mind (i've met plenty of chickenheads with locks and revolutionaries with relaxers...). We still do not openly except oursevles for who we are (Hair in particular) without some sort of consciousness raising....

I live for the day sistas SEE their hair, AS the LIMITLESS form of self-expression that it is, STRAIT, KINKY, CURLY, SHORT, LONG, whatever....

Breeze
23540, I agree, but.....
Posted by guest, Thu Jul-13-00 01:56 AM
I think the way we wear our hair should "mean" something. It would be easier to tell who is down for what and about what by looking at the way they wear their hair. For instance, I know a sister that colors the tips of her dreads to help put her selve in a certain mood (red/fire/intensity, green/earth/dryness, water/blue/ sensitivity, etc.). However, in this day age a lot of esh is done just for fashion, so therefore you have a lot nuts running around here with versacci-dread's (ya'll seen them) & moshood-perm's. Although, I try to make sure that I know what I am wearing & why, I am guilty of being a kufi-tommy-hillfiger head (sp), at times. I am working on this, and if give permission, I suggest we all try to find out why we do stuff.
23541, CORRECTION
Posted by guest, Thu Jul-13-00 02:03 AM
I meant, heads WHO ARE versacci dread's and moshood-perm's
23542, Welcome to my world!!!
Posted by Tank, Thu Jul-13-00 09:41 AM
I have been shaving my hair off since I was 18, that's 7 years ago now. When I first started doing it I think the only other 'white', (apostophes so KoalaLove doesn't yell), woman shaving her dome was Sinead O'Connor.

Immediately I was labeled a lesbian and to be honest I used to get really frustrated.

Then as the years went by and I got used to the judgements I realised this -

Whatever you think I am you will be wrong.

I no longer care if you think I am a dyke, as that is not an insult to me. Also people are making judgements about peoples heterosexuality all day every day and so why not make a judgement about my so called homosexuality? It only matters who you think I fuck if I am trying to fuck you.

All I know is that having people make repeated judgements on me all the time has really helped me see where my judgements lie with others. Now I can catch myself and not assume things about others, cuz who am I to say who that person is? Everyone is always wrong about me, so I most likely am about them.

(Excuse me if that didn't make a whole heap of sense, or rambled and whirled, it's just that I am having a tough 4th day cigarette free...)

Peace,

Tank

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"In the path of our happiness shall we find the learning for which we have chosen this lifetime." Richard Bach, Illusions

"As do many strong people, she had found herself a victim of the tyranny of the weak." Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
23543, RE: Welcome to my world!!!
Posted by guest, Thu Jul-13-00 11:06 AM
i hear you tank- and no it wasn't confusing at all.
23544, Perm does not equal slave, Locs do not equal blackness...
Posted by guest, Fri Jul-14-00 09:17 AM
I dealt with this same issue in college. A few sistas who became "au natural" during the Erykah Badu era decided to have all their little fly "revolutionary" poetry sets and always had to find a way to criticize those that were not "natural".

I think all this perm vs. natural is bull. I have been a hair stylist for years. I love the variety of styles that black women can attain. It wouldn't be fun if we all looked alike with locs and afros, etc. I like to see beautiful sistas with locs, braids, wraps, twists, hard curls, etc.

I like being different. I have been fortunate enough to have a fine texture of hair which has allowed me to switch up between natural and permed hair styles on a regular basis. Even with permed hair, my hair would curl up really nicely. I simply liked the versatility in being able to wear a wrap one day and a head full of curls another day.

Going to the hairdresser on a regular doesn't mean that a person is overly concerned with their looks. How about they just like to look neat and well-groomed and try to keep a healthy head of hair? What's wrong with that? I love to see a well-groomed male or female at all times, be it permed or locs. As for beauty-shop maintained locs...what's wrong with that?

Cassandra Wilson???Has anyone seen this women's locs. She is simply gorgeous.Compare Cassandra's locs to, say...., Bob Marley's. Don't get me wrong, I am the biggest Bob Marley fan you'll find and I like his more matted and less-maintained look on him but not her. For a woman, I would expect to see a more maintained look just because that's the nature of women. At the same time, its all good if guys want that maintained look.

I really think that those who knock folks about this whole hair issue should really think twice. Most of you all became natural after years of being permed and if you didn't, it doesn't matter. To me, it seems like the folks that are "au natural" are the ones that care more about how "natural" they look as compared to the vain sisters who are permed. It's like a contest to see who's more afrocentric.

Well, WAKE UP CALL...take a deeper look at the places where locked and natural styles originated (i.e. African countries and Caribbean islands). Look at all the different people in these places. Take the Caribbean for example. What is a Jamaican or a Trinidadian? There is no set look. They are mixed with a little bit of every ethnic group and a lot of their women have the light to cinnamon brown tones with beautiful straight, curly hair that you all say is only for white people. Come on people. Wake up. All of you so called "conscious" people need to take another look around the globe and put more time into your history books before you criticize that sister with "permed" hair again.


***Please everyone, no offense intended, just wanting the "naturals" to see a difference in opinion and take it into consideration before judging...........

REN
23545, cassandra vs. bob...
Posted by nappiness, Sat Jul-15-00 06:27 AM
i don't think that there is any comparison. i am not sure of cassandra's ideology,religion,lifestyle but i do know bob was a rasta therefore the way in which he naturally grew his locs has to do with that. you wouldn't catch him with no bees wax nor twisting his locs. there are different reasons people loc and that's there own personal decision but i don't think bob's and any other rastas mane is any less groomed than a comb twister or bees waxer. i mean, well groomed to me is clean w/out bugs.
Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23546, so people with course kinky hair are unfortunate?
Posted by nahymsa, Wed Jul-26-00 03:48 AM
Lord have mercy...

That sentence says it all...

btw, people in the caribbean aren't necessarily more mixed than black americans. There are some books by Ivan Van Sertima, John Clarke, etc. that I could recommend if you'd like to read up on the history of africans in the diaspora.





23547, tank I understood yo British talk *ha ha, jokey jokey*
Posted by nappiness, Fri Jul-14-00 03:37 AM
yeah you made a very good point about being able to catch yo'self when are on the verge of judging others. i have evolved to that point as well. especially now that it is summmer from my lips i have said many of times, "that chic is a skank, hoochie, ho, scooch, or chickenhead just b/c of somehting she has on". but i have to catch myself b/c that sistah could have a phd in engineering and have a good head on her shoulders she just doesn't have any fashion sense *ha ha, jokey jokey*.

Nappiness is next to Godliness!!!
"To thy ownself be true"
Ms. Nappiness
23548, judge not others lest thee be judged said someone or other!
Posted by Tank, Fri Jul-14-00 11:48 AM
heheheeeeee

For real tho, you never know who that other is until that other choses to reveal themself to you. Do not judge a book by it's cover and all that.

And that other may be like me and like the fact that you constantly misunderstand them!

Peace,

Tank

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23549, Black hair issue
Posted by Re_Alief, Wed Jul-26-00 01:07 AM
http://abcnews.go.com/sections/us/DailyNews/rastacop000721.html

Peace2U,
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23550, i'm goin' through something similar to that
Posted by Aja, Wed Jul-26-00 03:06 AM
but right now it involves my family's views on my decision ot keep my hair natural-many of them figured that it was just a trend that i picked up in college that would soon fade once i graduated and went into a corporate workplace-but i really don't want to put anymore relaxer or texturizer in my hair-i love my hair just the way it is, but i feel like i'm the only one having to fend for myself with this issue-it's my folks vs. me-4-0

and to top it all off-ultimately, i do not want a career working in corporate america-but i've gotta make a living right now until i get to where i really wanna be, you know?

my family is starting to make me feel as if i need to do "something with my hair" (which means to relax it or cut it and texturize it) if i want to get a good job-do i really have to do this??