>if your relationship is the exception, then you must agree
>that there is a rule, right?

I agree that there is an 'accepted norm'. That's different than a 'rule', because rules can be broken, have punishment structures, and are codified.

>
>"I am saying that love and >politics can remain on separate
>plains, and as an extension >of this, convergent
>relationships can exist without the >constant power play or
>ego-tripping that seem to categorize >said relationships on
>this board."
>
>explain this. and if your politics are thoroughly
>"integrated" into your personal life then how can love not
>be political as well?
>

I never said they were 'integrated' - I said specifically that they exist on a separate plane (actually, I said 'plain' but whattayagonnado - i was up at 4 am). Meaning, my politics are not a qualifier for our relationship, nor a lynchpin. Admittidely, if were a neocon jerkoff, chances are I might not have approached my wife in the first place, but on the other hand there was a period in my life where I was working with Refuse and Resist, while my wife insisted I was basically working with a bunch of condescending elitist whiteys. That brought politics into the households, but didn't interfere on principle - it was just another disgareement that arises in all relationships: the "I'm right, you're wrong" argument.

>here's a mundane example: recycling. it's tied into all
>sorts of political elements that include conversation and
>clean streets. but many folks have integrated it into their
>personal lives without even a second thought.
>
>now, i'm making the claim that politics "enters love
>relationships" the same way, unnoticed and "naturally." i'm
>suggesting that we all should acknowledge those politics so
>that relationships could evolve rather than ignore them and
>uphold notions of romanticism.

I can agree with this statement: politics as a stealth element in a relationship. If that's your case, then you've won your argument: up until now, I've undertstood your argument as "politics as explicit, highlighted element posited into the relationship" ie 'i am a white liberal, you are a black liberal - let our relationship commence as thus, with these two points as anchors.' Given that one paragraph you just wrote, politics is by nature a matter of opinion, and thus implicit to ANY relationship, I suppose,.

Congratulations. YOU'VE WON THIS ROUND, GADGET! BUT I'LL BE BACK.

Actually, this was by far the best debate I've had around here in a minute. Thank you!