2382, RE: Rude Awakenings Posted by Nettrice, Sat Mar-20-04 02:36 PM
>I'm not sure I know what benefit I receive (beyond having a >wonderful supportive woman with me): i've caught beat downs, >been alienated from a power structure I could have >theoretically integrated into
By right and privilege you are already a part of the "structure". It's not about integration unless you're from Ireland. My point here is that with your mate you have to deal with the b.s. but without her you don't, i.e. the workplace. The barriers that she might have to deal with on her own, the world, is not the same as what you could choose for yourself as a white man.
>brought us endless scrutiny >and bullshit, and... yeah. S'about it. Where are these >benefits I'm supposed to be recieving?
Stats already show the benefits compared to Black men in the workplace and society. There's less of a brick or glass ceiling for white men and there are certain expectations and conditions in society that benefit white men over Black men or women. Racial profiling is one example and there are documentaries such as "Murder on a Sunday" that highlight these conditions.
>At 17 years old, you weren't necessarily going to get >sincere, mature relationship regardless of race.
Why not? I was mostly independent at age 17, putting myself through college and living on my own. I was able to make my own choices and I already had a sense of direction and responsibility at that age. When I was 17 it was critical that I make decisions to help me reach certain goals and I had different priorities than many of my peers. Also, I was committed to helping people empower themselves in my community. I was quite aware of the expectations and conditions.
>I'm sorry >it was traumatic
It wasn't that traumatic, just another example for me to learn from. It wasn't the first...even then.
>but you're saying the other person >involved came from a long, storied wealthy Southern >community
Nope. I said his parents came from old Southern money. He chose to isolate himself from all that but not when it came to college tuition. He had to appease his parents because they were paying...he was dependent by choice and I did not have a choice.
The politics of it is that you have a choice...many Black folks do not as far as the power structure. It's not a level playing field. My white friend's rude awakening was that his love (for me) did not cut it with his family and he did have a choice even if he was not willing to choose but he still had to choose. My awakening was that I did not have as many choices and I knew that the journey would not be a happy one. Happiness is a journey, not a relationship or an outcome.
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