>doesn't it seem incongruent to be an atheist AND a church
>deacon??

Yes, and it seems incongruent to use bad analogies. In the case of your analogy, you are using opposites--by definition--to state your case. However, when it actually comes to the real issue, there is always the ability to resist what you call "western bourgeois notions" and not adhere to the love and sex components of the hegemony you are trying to describe. What you are trying to say, over and over again, is that it is impossible for an "interracial" couple to live otherwise. I say, unless you have dabbled in this sort of relationship (which you said you haven't), how can you possibly make such a blatent conclusion and expect to be taken seriously?

BTW, you make good points and observations that should be addressed, but you're blanketing innocent people with your judgement, trust me. peace,