>distinguish, for me, between "external policy" and
>"mechanics"? (and please refrain from romanticizing it.)

By 'external policy' I mean who we deal with collectively, where we go, how we carry ourselves together, who we jointly allow in our homes and lives.

'Mechanics' meaning the dailiy interface. I can safely say the political dimension has never invaded the bedroom or morning bathroom rituals.

On the other hand, when I used to get into fist fights on my way home from work with local NOI or AKAs, that was a different situation, there were certain concerns which followed us home. In that way, external policy influenced internal politics.


>what person doesn't carefully choose housing (or whatever)?

Homogenous couples. If you are an all-black/white/hispanic couple, the choices are easier, because there are homogenous communities that exist to support you. In a mixed couple, you are limited because of backlash. We lived in Kingsbridge, which is diverse enough to accomodate anyone, but we'd never be bale to pull that off in Throgs Neck, Schuylerville, Harlem, Whitestone, Howard Beach, Bensonhurst, or any other homogenous communities. Think about the diversity of Flushing vs. Ozone Park. There is also the reality of violence: we met in Cleveland, Ohio, where we pretty much under constant threat of violence from Black fraternities, cops, Black Muslims and skinheads. D.C. is segregated enough where that threat has sort of renewed, so in order to remain together, again, we must be very careful where we live.

Our presence also affects property values, in some cases, meaning we have t be conscious of where we're looking. My man is married to a white woman. They live in Kensington, BK (around Flatbush), where a real estate broker basically told them that mixed couple send up signal flares to white people and gays that the community is tolerant and safe, meaning they are free to move in - and suddenly you've created a hot spot. They bought their duplex for 60K three years back - it's now worth 320, and the neighborhood went from Orthodox Jews, Pakistanis, Egyptians, and W. Indians to white, gay hipsters.

So that's the political dimension of loving and living space.

>i remember when i was applying to colleges if the Black
>population was less than 6% the school automatically did not
>make my short list. i live in queens and there are certain
>sections that i'd never think of moving to namely Ozone
>Park, Howard Beach, Bell Harbor, Bayside, etc.
>
>i'm still not seeing how you don't see the political
>dynamics with your relationship.

I do. You're missing the point: as political a union as a white jew and black woman is, we haven't let it INUNDATE the relationship. If we saw each other as no more than our ethnic identities - as opposed to that being a PART of a greater whole - than we never would have married. The politics is only a small part of the relationship, along with appreciation of loyalty, shared resources, emotional support, joint finances, common interests; etc.

Or am I still on the wrong track with you?