That's what this issue is all about isn't it? The need to Preserve our Blackness, (or for some people our Afrikaness) and not let members of our community get "whitened up" or leave us behind.

We don't want Black kids to be adopted by Whites because they might somehow impart "Whiteness" onto these kids and not raise them as "Black" as we would like. So we'd rather leave them in suspect foster homes and as ward's of the state, and send people who could love this children to foreign countries like China, Korea and Vietnam to adopt children in need. We're afraid of meeting this child as an adult in college or in the workplace, and discovering that he/she isn't as "Black" or as "Down" as we would like.

God forbid they act in a perceived "white manner" AND live in the suburbs(Since that's who is usually adopting these kids, white suburbanites), they'll have left us completely behind. Not share our opinions, attitudes, culture and economic background....that is so key to being "Black".

Coming up, My mom was criticized for raising us in a suburban environment. So what if it was safe, so what if there was little crime, so what if I went to a school where going to college was pounded into me from Kindergarten until I graduated, (See Why Don't Black Kids go to College) so what if I was raised an environment that wouldn't make college a culture shock and make it difficult for me to finish. So what if I lived in an environment where living to see your 18th Birthday, going to college, getting a degree, getting a good job, buying a house and being able to provide for one's family was the norm.

I'm not saying that all Black Communities are bad, but they're not all good either, and just being around Black people doesn't guarantee someone will have a sound identity of self and/or that it's a better environment.

The point I'm trying to make, is that people need to get past these slave era insecurities that make them feel someone has "left the race" just because they're not like them. Furthermore, they need to look past "preserving someone's Blackness" for their own selfish reasons, IMHO the cries of "Black Kids should only be raised by Black Parents" "Damn the Professional and Middle Class Black who left the inner cities in the 70s" "Only raise your children in a predominantly Black Environment" are VERY selfish....to me they're really just cries of being left behind, wanting to preserve a homegenus Black race....and an irrational fear that one can lose one's Blackness.

I could've sworn that my skin color and Heritage made me Black, not where I live, how I dress, who adopted me, where I work and any other number of superficial things.

That being said, this issue shouldn't even be discussed and it pisses me off that it is.

We have Unwanted Black Children, more then can probably be adopted by Black people, particularly when you consider that most people have all the children they can handle/want AND that a lot of Black families/folks end up raising the child of a relative ANYWAY. There is a phenomenon of children being raised by their extended families, that makes adoption even MORE difficult in the Black community.

The things a child needs the most are: #1. To simply be wanted #2. To be loved #3. To be raised in a loving, secure, stable environment that can give him "some" if not all of the tools they need to succeed in life. We also know that children being raised in group homes, foster care and that get passed around through various government agencies aren't usually well cared for, don't live happy lives and may have problems with drugs and crime that may follow them for most of their adult life. This is not a situation where allowing the government to raise the child, is anyway shape or form a good idea. Shoot, just ask the child what s/he thinks about the situation.

So where are we? We have unwanted Black children, we have a Black Community that probably can't adopt them all, we have White people willing to take these kids into their homes and love them.

I think the answer to this problem is obvious. We shouldn't even be discussing this, we should be discussing how to make sure that there are NO unwanted Black children...period.

I think people need to get off of their self righteous high horse and stop striving for an objective/situation that isn't neccessarily possible AND is hurting people. It's nice to say that Black children should only be adopted by Blacks, but in practice it isn't working...so we need to abandon that ideal.....and focus on what CAN work in the REAL world.

I don't understand how people can pontificate about how Black Families should only Adopt Black children, when they're children who aren't being adopted and probably won't be unless a White family does.....AND when the Black community may not be capable of adopting all these children. OR when some of these White Families may provide, stabler, safer, more financial sound environments...which may result in more of these kids going to college, having good careers and being able to create safe, secure, financially sound environments of their own.

Put it another way, imagine this:

You're 7 years old and your mom and Dad died 4 years ago..your grandmother raised you for two years and then she passed. You have no surviving relatives, so there you sit, in some sort of home for orphaned children. You don't have a room to call your own, any toys to call your own, or a home that is a familiar, safe place, (think about how comforting it is to come home, now imagine not having that) you've been getting passed around for 2 years now: Foster Homes, Oprhanages, Various Agencies, etc. Stability is as foreign a concept as Differential Equations to your 7 year old mind.

What you wouldn't give to have someone to call Mom, someone to call Dad...someone to pick you up when you fall off your bike and hurt yourself, someone to play catch with you in the backyard, someone to tuck you in and read you a story at night, SOMEONE TO LOVE YOU and teach you the things you need to learn to succeed in life.

But you can't have that, because some self righteous asshole decided that a White family couldn't adopt you.....so there you sit....waiting. That family was so nice, they really wanted you, but the agency said now.....only a Black family...but it turned out the Black family didn't qualify....so there you sit.....but hey, you're the lucky one.....you're still young and and at least a Black family showed some interest in you.


No one has shown any interest for little Jamal crying in the corner because he misses his Mom and Dad.


So I ask you, why are we having this conversation when children, sweet, innocent children are in this situation?! Are you ideals so important that these kids should suffer before they get adopted by Whites?

What about if the White person can provide a better home life, in terms of finances and equiping the kid to go to college and do something with his life? Is a White professional who will probably raise a Black professional better then the Black janitor who will probably raise another Janitor....a better choice?

I wonder what the kid will if you could show him his future of poverty compared to his life as a college graduate who pays his bills, provides a nice home for his family and is able to make a difference in the world if s/he so chooses.




Peace,





M2