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Forum nameOkay Activist Archives
Topic subjecta note
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=11689&mesg_id=11739
11739, a note
Posted by guerilla_love, Fri Sep-21-01 06:28 AM
when u get high, u come down
when u drink, u wake up sick
when u eat sugar, u crash
when u wake up with caffiene, u get a wierd sick feeling hours later
when u have sex for the feeling alone u cn end up diminishing yrself

these things are true to varying degrees, depending on consumption, body type, etc.

so many "pleasures" that we're fed come as a part of a cycle of regret and self resentment

this is sumthin that's especially clear to me now and over the past 9 months, as i went from being intoxicated much of the time, hangin out with friends much of the time, sneak smoking even tho i'd quit, etc. to being pregnant. i thought there was no way i cd give everything up until i read in a book sumthin to the effect of "the dependence on these vices must be very intense if it is powerful enuf to overshadow the natural maternal instinct." that really struck me. that moment i went clean. no smoking, no drinking, nuthin since.

i still have the same capacity for joy as i did before. but it comes from different places. i still enjoy hangin out with friends and listenning to good music and performing and travelling and- sht- and everything. i still enjoy the hell outta myself mosta the time.

BUT without the substances. without the crashes. without the poisoning.

and i feel like i've discovered sumthing. i've discovered a stability, a confidence, a new sense of self, a clarity- i donno how to put it. but all the potential i used to see in myself and in my husband is unclouded now.

joy duz NOT hafta cum with pain. high duz NOT hafta cum with a crash. and there are too many forces out there that try to drain our natural power.


I'd draw yuh bath
like Picasso..

pick you,
like fruit
off yuh family tree. &
eatcha' honeydew ass,


"the skilled binder uses no strings or knots, while to unloose what he has bound would be impossible." Lao Tzu

"The logic of divide and rule is still valid today." Capleton

"if i'm smart enough to sneak around and learn to fly a plane to get me and all my friends enough false i.d. to board us airplanes to get me and all my friends through metal detectors and past security guards while hiding weapons to make an entire plane load of people afraid of my boxcutter i doubt i would be stupid enough to leave all the evidence behind in a rental car
unless i wanted you to think i was something that i'm not" (c) 2ndsurvivor

DomePoem Poets; Vibe Nation; One ppl under the spoken word

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news: http://www.blackelectorate.com/links.asp
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