i'll ask some parents that i think have done a good job...

i think a good foundation should be established and then "letting" go, so to speak.sort of like the bow and arrow example i gave in the first response...

personally though: i suspect myself to be a totalitarian parent. a dictator of sorts. but that's me now, i will probably change depending on some examples i see. one of my mentors is along hte "raising a warrior" mentality and did a good job with his daughter, i'll consult him.