with all due respect, bruh... i have a few tips:

1. take a logic class. it would do some of your analogies some good. the whole analogy of steal is to stealer as dicksucker is to homosexual doesn't work. women who suck dick aren't homosexual. Which gets back to my point. there are a series of "acts" in which people engage, that do not necessarily dictate one's sexual orientation (or I've heard some call it attraction orientation... since you're so hung up on sex). what one desires (an emotional capacity and sensibility) is not what one does (the sexual act itself). What is sex for money or survivor sex? (is it desire)? What is rape or molestation? do they too involve desire? I know straight boys and girls who play now and then, and I don't think that makes them gay. Gay is a deeper sensibility for deciding you'll live with same-sex desire despite the societal dictates that suggest it's wrong, abominable, sinful, impossible even.

2. romance and relationship being consumated by sex has nothing to do with sexuality per se.... it doesn't mean that where there's sex there is romance, it doesn't mean that where there is romance there is sex. but I bet you that chances are.... if your deep emotional attachements to someone are complemented by sexual desire, then you got some romance with some "shooky-shooky-now" on the way. Your stance seems pretty anti-sex/erotophobic, which isn't going to win over many heterosexuals either. like it or not, they're not beating and imprisoning and mocking and discriminating againt people for "homosexual thoughts"... it's ultimately the "act" that marks the difference (thus sodomy laws, not "thinking about getting some boy-ass" laws). (Were there any heterosexuals convicted under the sodomy laws?). In my opinion, sexual acts aren't bad. the creator wouldn't have given us the impulse if it were... something to produce children, to consumate love between adults. We are not always very responsible with this erotic power... but that doesn't make it bad.

3. I'm not nor will ever be one of those ex-gays. Hell, as for my sense of my sexual orientation... children, contrary to what you believe, do develop sensibilities and concepts for what their lives will be about as adults. Children do feel sexual desire. children are not responsible enough to deal with that desire, which is why we generally recommend abstinence until the child reaches an age where they understand the consequences of desire... but children, my friend, do desire. maybe some don't. I surely did... and I'm sure I can get a witness. I knew that as surely as my big brother 7, talked about having a pretty wife someday, that my romantic attachments were and would continue to be for men. Over the years I did question that and ultimately got clarity. The first time I kissed a guy I was like.... damn... that's what it's supposed to feel like!

Now calling me confused? I'll take that up with you should we ever meet. I've never been "confused" and certainly never come across that way. Confused are the girls who think they can convert me (and damn if they ain't trying all the time) or the brothas who think I'm some anomaly because I got some butch in my bones. LOL

You ever heard of compulsory heterosexuality? it's basically being and thinking you're hetero because the society in which you live provides no other option.... or presents other options as damnable or abject. It's a relevant concept for this conversation as that's what a lot of the African (born and raised) people I know speak of when talking about reconciling their Africanness with their homosexuality. the desire was always there. exploring it was not always an option.

For the record. I'm a pretty wise, experienced brotha... Have studied sexuality extensively, and have the insight for keen reflection and introspection on my own experieces and those of people (straight and gay) near and dear to me. For example, I have a nephew (8?) who I think might be gay. I haven't mentioned it to him or his mother... but he's aware that there are many healthy ways people can express desire... and should we ever have that conversation about "birds and bees" or "b-boys and b-boys", I'll be sure to encourage him to think seriously about the consequences of sex (with whomever) and I'll try to instill in him some principled thinking about his choices. I could be wrong... but I also know that if I'm right, he might not have to grow up to be suicidal and tortured in the ways I was as a child who was told from day one that I was hellbound for desires I didn't ask for and can't change.

I'm not gonna reply after this post. I get money and consultation fees for this kind of schooling at some of America's best universities. I can refer you to a few books if you want to challenge your box, homey. one of them would be my own: "Red Dirt Revival: a poetic memoir in 6 Breaths"

one.


tim'm
www.reddirt.biz

aka 25
www.deepdickollective.com


*Diamonds are Coals under Pressure*
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