I am sorry to hear about your situation but whether you like it or not you have to get a lawyer to straighten everything out. Your ex is using you and there is no way that the current situation will benefit her, you, or your child. Child support is business. The minute one parent petitions the court for support it becomes business, not personal.

My parents never did the court/support thing. My mother was independent, had a college degree and a career. My father was a high-school drop-out, trying to find his niche in life. My mother took my father to court after the divorce but mostly to get full custody. In order for my father to see us he had to pay child support to her directly, so he did. For years, this arrangement worked and eventually I became the support-negotiator for my parents. I was the oldest and I guess more responsible than my sisters.

For my mother, child support meant business. There were never any arguments about what my father paid, as long as he paid something. Otherwise, no visitation. In frustration, my father kidnapped us when we were little and took us to his hometown. Soon after, my mother had us returned. How she did it I will never know but it was still business. I saw my father, spent the summers with him almost every year after I turned 10. My mother never said a unkind word about my father. She told us the truth and the rest we could see for ourselves.

I guess the lesson I learned from my parents was how to be responsible- for my actions and decisions. My mother was responsible and my father was often irresponsible but he learned how to become more mature about his role as father over time. I learned to wait on children until I met a responsible guy (not like my father). I am still waiting and that's okay because I never want to be in the situation other parents are in.

You keep saying, "I don't want to be the bad guy". Perhaps that is how you see yourself but it's not true. Take the personal out of this for a moment and be the responsible one since it sounds like someone needs to be in order to save your relationship with your son. Document everything- phone calls, correspondence/letters, even conversations (tape recorder) if need be. Take all this evidence to legal aid and present your case. Tell them what you want to come of the situation whether it be visitation rights or partial-custody. If you have to pay child support you have rights. You will need someone to negotiate with the court, preferably a lawyer who knows the law.

Good luck!



"Know thyself"

"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you or forsake you". So we may boldly say, "The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
-- Hebrews 13:5,6

"There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"
--Morpheus in "The Matrix"

"It's our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities"- Dumbledore to Harry Potter "Chamber of Secrets"