THE QUESTION WAS,

"WHAT IS STRENGTH,"

>without responsibility, honesty and sense of
>self (maturity)?

Sense of the environment which MAY be used for/against your personal gain....Basically, awareness of one's surroundings....

>
>>TRUST...
>>Though you MAY NOT be able
>>to appreciate it now through
>>what you see/have seen...YOU AS
>>A WOMAN NEED A GOOD
>>"STRONG"(<--By the way, what's your
>>definition? Just Curious...) MAN TO
>>GROW INTO OLD AGE WITH....MOST
>>ESPECIALLY TO RAISE HEALTHY CHILDREN
>>WITH....
>

>My father was physically strong and
>financially stable BUT he was
>a very negative influence on
>his daughters.
>
>OVERSTAND THAT NO WOMAN CAN
>>RAISE A BOY INTO A
>>MAN. I KNOW THIS
>>FROM A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE
>>BEING THE SON OF A
>>SINGLE MOTHER WHO TRIED TO
>>RAISE ME TO AVOID PHYSICAL
>>CONFRONTATION AT ALL COSTS...(didn't work
>>also).......Plus, there are just things
>>a boy can NOT discuss
>>with a woman for guidance
>>and understanding...Plus....
>

You replied...

>I mentored a young man for
>2 years (from age 16-18).
> He did not have
>a male he could talk
>to but he had his
>male peers and that helped
>him grow. The lack
>of a stable/strong father figure
>did not prove to be
>an obstacle for his personal
>development. The one thing
>I noticed was how open
>Q was with me...about everything.
> When he got a
>girl pregnant, was suspended from
>school for carrying a knife
>and when he was falsely
>arrested he called me.
>I listened to him and
>sometimes I would meet with
>Q and his male peers
>to talk about issues relating
>to being a man relating
>to women.
>
>I am certain that my guidance
>helped Q become a more
>mature man but we all
>worked as a team to
>help him-- mother, step-father, friends,
>other young men, other female/male
>mentors. That's real youth
>development.

This is REAL youth development and the funny thing is that's how it should be within a SANE COMMUNITY for EACH and EVERY CHILD...
Only within the confines of a SAFE and SANE community...Anyhoo..

While I am sure your counsel on male/female relations was appreciated by the young brutha it's my opinion that the greatest advising brutha Q could've achieved in those relations (if a healthy, SOMEWHAT developed one...) is that with the step-father...Hopefully he could FULLY appreciate the role he was filling...I say this not to undermine your advice but altogether it will be easier for the brutha to realize his position in america and how to conduct himself....This is something that only a MAN OF COLOR could notice from a FIRST PERSON view...No offense...but who could explin the triumphs and pitfalls, joys and pains of black women better...Talib Kweli or Ursula Rucker???


>>The world is tough without us...You'd
>>be SURPRISED at all the
>>little things our strength can
>>accomplish. Even when you
>>break it down to the
>>point of moving heavy objects
>>around the apartment/house, a man,
>>in the most basic sense,
>>is a utility no woman
>>can/should be without...
>
>I can pay someone to move
>heavy objects or I can
>do it myself and/or ask
>for help from my friends
>(male or female). What
>I can't pay for is
>a man who will be
>more than a role defined
>by a society that places
>value on things that does
>not support me. I
>need more than that to
>be in a real relationship.

Unclear. I'm a simple man...Please explain further on what you mean by "What I can't pay for is a man who will be more than a role defined by a society that places value on things that does
not support me. I need more than that to be in a real relationship. I am already a whole person. I need another whole person (man) to be there for me. He can lift heavy things, too (if he wants)."

YOU ARE A WHOLE PERSON, eh? Do you cook couscous as well????

>
>"Know thyself"
>
>"There is a difference between knowing
>the path and walking the
>path"
>--Morpheus in "The Matrix"