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Topic subjectfatherlessness & blk women
Topic URLhttp://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=22&topic_id=13744&mesg_id=13744
13744, fatherlessness & blk women
Posted by rgv, Mon May-21-01 07:11 AM
*this email was sent to me by a friend, & i thought to pass it on, not sayin to answer every question HERE in this forum, b/c those are sum private questions, but to just think about em, & recollect*

these questions come from a book entitled "What
Happened to Daddy's Little Girl: The Impact of
Fatherlessness on Black Women" by Jonetta Rose
Barras...they're from a chapter entitled "Self
Examination" and i thought they were good ones to
ponder/meditate upon/ consider...

...L...
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
1) At what age did you have your first sexual
experience?

2) What was your chief motivation for entering that
relationship, or those relationships?

3) Do you distinguish sex from love, or are they the
same thing to you?

4) Did you ever consider having a child, although at
the time you weren't married? If yes, how old were you
and what motivated the desire?

5) If you have children, what is your relationship
with them- are they used to fill the empty space in
your life; so they serve as a weapon for keeping your
partner in line, etc. If you do not have children, so
you still have a strong desire to have them; what is
your motivation?

6) How and why did you end your last relationship?

7) How strongly do you respond to criticism from a
mate? Even when the criticism is valid, do you
sometimes find yourself worried about whether the
comments mean he is about to break off the
relationship?

8) Do you prefer dating men who are married, have
another girlfriend, or are intensely involed with
their work?

9) Do you sometimes find yourself in a good
relationship but still feel uncomfortable about it?

10) How often have you ended a relationship before the
man whom you were dating, living with, or married to
decided to end it?

11) When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do
you see? Are you comfortable or uncomfortable with
your body image?

12) How many times have you tried dieting or gaining
weight over the last three years?

13) Have you ever suffered bulimia, anorexia, or any
other eating disorder?

14) When you are hurt, angry, or lonely, do you
frequently head for the refridgerator, for the stove,
or for that bottle of wine?

15) How often do you head for work, either in your
house or at your office, when things are going badly
in a relationship?

16) Do you lash out at others for no apparent reason?

17) Have you within the past five years been the first
to attack, verbally or physically, your male partner?

18) Do you sometimes become so angry with yourself
that you deny yourself certain niceties?

19) Do you sometimes spend days in bed when you are
not physically ill, find yourself tired when you have
exerted very little if any physical energy, realize
you can't get yourself motivated?

20) Have you ever thought that you would be better off
dead, ever thought of commiting suicide, ever
attempted suicide?

21) Do you sometimes bend over backward in a
relationship, attempting to please the other person,
even if it means sacrificing your own pleasure and
happiness?

22) Do you invest more time in helping a man improve
his life than you do in improving your own?

23) Are you frequently overly conscious of how people
perceive you?

24) Do you feel that you never measure up to others?

25) Do you believe everything you do has to be
perfect?









"u cant see ahead w/ ur head down" - qua'ran tauheed {my baybee sister}