The James Brolin/Chad Lowe Award for Best Ongoing Emasculation
To poor Tony Dungy, who sent his punting team out twice this season in fourth-and-short situations only to have it waved off by an overwhelmed quarterback whose postseason record currently stands at 3-6.



First of all, can you imagine what would happen if Bill Belichick sent New England's punting team out and Tom Brady tried to wave it off? Actually, I know what would happen -- Belichick would immediately call a timeout, furiously motion for Brady to come over, then chew him out on national TV. That's what would happen. Second of all, if you're the other Indy players, how can you respect your coach after that? Who's running the team, Dungy or Manning? Can you name another professional athlete in any sport who acts autonomously and directly disobeys his coach? Why doesn't the national media make a bigger deal out of this? What's the difference between Manning waving the punt team off the field and Terrell Owens questioning the competency of Donovan McNabb?



One positive outcome: The Tony Dungy "I can't believe my QB just hung me out to dry on national TV" Face. Eerily reminiscent of the scene in "Scarface" when coke dealer Frank Lopez (Robert Loggia's character) shows up at the Miami nightclub, sees Tony Montana with his arm around his girlfriend (Michelle Pfeiffer's character), makes the requisite "Get your hands off my girl" comment, and not only does Tony refuse to budge, he stares him down and fires back with something along the lines of, "Hey, maybe she needs a new man, Frank." And poor Lopez just stands there for four or five seconds with the castrated deer-in-the-headlights look, debating his options before skulking away. That was Tony Dungy in the Pittsburgh game. Not good.



(Note: Later that night, Lopez ordered a hit on Tony at that same nightclub, which Tony managed to foil and find time to shoot Frank a few hours later. I find this interesting.)





The Peyton Manning Award for Worst Performance in a Playoff Game
With apologies to Tom Brady, who was uncharacteristically sloppy for two straight weeks and made the single-worst throw of his career (the pick to Champ Bailey), I still think Manning gets this award for his Tony Eason impersonation against the Steelers. More than everything else, quarterbacks need to come through in the clutch, carry themselves like the coolest guys on the field, inspire confidence in their teammates (no matter how bleak the situation), respect the coach's decisions and be quality teammates even in the face of adversity. Manning did none of these things on Sunday. And I'm not sure even A-Rod would have muttered the "I'm trying to be a good teammate" line. Some guys rise to the occasion in big games, some guys shrink from the occasion. He's one of the shrinkers. But if you're playing a 2-10 Lions team on Thanksgiving with three days to prepare, he's your guy.



While we're here, three Manning-related e-mails that I enjoyed this week ...



From John Buford in N.C.: "Have you noticed the similarity between the Peyton Manning Face and the Boss Hogg Face? You know, the one that Sorrell Booke made whenever he found out that the Duke boys had used their cousin Daisy's sexuality and chicken-frying prowess as a diversion to steal the keys from Enos and break out of America's least-secure jail again?"



From Andy in Indy: "Can you please spare me another 'Colts choke, Peyton sucks' article? We know this already and you should feel our pain. The worst part about the situation is that as a Colts fan I know that we have another eight to 12 years of this, because there is NO WAY we would ever get rid of Manning. It is like moving in with a girlfriend, breaking up with her, but still having to live with her for the next 10 years ... leaving you with predicaments where you are hitting a home run with a girl at a bar (ie: regular season) and then you go for the close (ie: playoffs) only to remember that your ex-girlfriend lives with you. Good times all around. Man, I can't wait to go 13-3 next year! At least we can look forward to another MVP season ... I heard Aaron Brooks is available!!"



From Steve in Kansas City: "Joe Posnanski had an article about Manning in Monday's paper that included this tidbit: 'Manning lost only five games in Isidore Newman High in New Orleans, but three of those losses came in the state playoffs. He did not win a state championship. He lost only six games at Tennessee, but famously three of those losses were to Florida, and the Volunteers did not win the national championship until after he left.' Which brings me to this question, which do you think will come first? A Manning championship ... or a movie remake of 'Cagney & Lacey' starring Jennifer Aniston & Angelina Jolie?"