one of my top 5 of all time. easily.

Something like that.

I think DC said it, responding to a question about Kenny Anderson missing a practice.

turned out to be fo, five, fo but whatever MOSES DELIVERED US!!!

(c) the almighty Allie I.

________________________________________________________

...DETROIT...WHAT...

you need to hear AI say it to get the full experience though

what Artest wrote as his last employment when he applied to work at Circuit City his rookie year so he could get the employee discount. He put down Jerry Krause as a reference.

That is classic.

.

told them that "stealing has always come natural to me" then recounted 3 different tales of stealing from Queensbridge convience stores growing up.

n/m

"everybody gets hated on. a nigga on this board hated on me because I hated him for hatin!" -- Darryl Reeves

That's hilarious, Artest is my new hero!

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2004/writers/lang_whitaker/11/22/artest/
http://www.slamonline.com/magazine/features/Artest82/

HOF quote from a HOF player...

The Rules Change, But The Game Remains The Same.

n/m

When being asked about spoozing on "concensual" sex partner's face by police investigators.

going ot wake up for"

uh, "no homo" stevie?


"two in the pink, one in the stink"

-what Jordon reportedly called Kwame Brown

------------------------------

“The Negro pays for what he wants and begs for what he needs.” -Kelly Miller

hahahahahahaha

not a sound clip (obviously) but as heresay

but i thought it was "fucking faggot."

"everybody gets hated on. a nigga on this board hated on me because I hated him for hatin!" -- Darryl Reeves

http://www.hoopsworld.com/article_11649.shtml

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2005/writers/pete_mcentegart/01/28/ten.spot/

http://www.bostonsportsmedia.com/archives/000910.php

made that semi-grown nigga cry.

fuck that, I mighta cried...

-Scott Skiles upon being asked how Eddy Curry could get more rebounds and blocks

------------------------------

“The Negro pays for what he wants and begs for what he needs.” -Kelly Miller

"everybody gets hated on. a nigga on this board hated on me because I hated him for hatin!" -- Darryl Reeves

"Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." ambidextrous nigga! mahhahahaha

Although it surprises me that anyone other than him would make the same comment...

for the Lakers." -Earv

I remember I was at basketball practice when he made the announcement. Practice was over. We were in total shock.

he said "attained", like it was some sort of achievement or something.

I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen.

http://www.myspace.com/losangeleague

i remember where i was too

lol

funny and sad.

Jalen Rose's response to news of the Carter trade.

was he serious?

toronto did drop the ball with that trade tho

"two in the pink, one in the stink"

Babcock's blowing smoke up our asses by lying and saying we couldn't have gotten Magloire from N.O. for Vince.

Micheal Ray Richardson

And the often less heard follow up:

"So how far can it sink?"

"Sky's the limit."

"I'm a GM in fantasy basketball and I'm a GM on PlayStation, so on PlayStation I probably would have got a little more, but this is real life, so I don't know."

In response to rumours that he was hosting Vince's welcome-back party the night before the Raps-Nets game, Jalen said something to the effect of "I'm not paying for anything and I'm not supplying any ladies."

"Like I told the guys earlier, once he turns 21 and is able to drink, it's over."

n/m






The Rules Change, But The Game Remains The Same.

Gee, Stephen, thanks for the reassurance. I know many had thought they'd just begun.

that shit is hilarious... and by the way he was dealing it out, he probably shed a tear as he said it. shoulda been on some Lou G. time- "right now, i consider myself the luckiest man on earth- to have played in the fan-punching era... all one game of it."

has to be Barry Bonds recent comments to the media last month, in responding to steroid use and should Baseball put asterisks by his name in the record books:

Barry said that would be FINE WITH HIM if they then turned and ALSO put asterisks next to ALL RECORDS that were established during the time niggus weren't allowed to play in the Majors...untouchable!!

harlequin.

Barry STILL said it...I watched him with my own eyes and heard him with my OWN ears-------go check ESPN archives if you non-believe...take 'Earnestly' rydyngdyck with you too

just like b(itch)shelly...then again, thats your purpose in Life huh you miserable little slug

nm

Larry was also said to be a tremendous motivator, but I never liked his tactics. He thought that he knew the right way of doing everything, from setting a pick to ordering in a restaurant. Whenever anybody did something just a little bit differently, whether the results were good or bad, Larry said we should've done it his way. He was like an old maid just nagging and bitching at us all the time.

(Excerpt his book)




The Rules Change, But The Game Remains The Same.

Reporter: "Write the check yet, Randy?"
Moss: "When you're rich you don't write checks."
Reporter: "If you don't write checks, how do you pay these guys?"
Moss: "Straight cash, homey."
Reporter: "Randy, are you upset about the fine?"
Moss: "No, cause it ain't shit. Ain't nothing but 10 grand. What's 10 grand to me? Ain't shit. Next time I might shake my dick."

- Randy Moss on getting fined for semi-mooning the crowd, ESPN/KARE-TV, January 14, 200

Especially since we got to see the video clip.. Randy is dandy..

“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

"This is it. It’s for all the marbles. I’m sitting in the house loading up the pump, I’m loading up the Uzis, I’ve got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I’m ready for war." - KG

"That's a cheap shot by a low-class type player. You don't do that. That's gay on his part. I told him that he was gay, too, for touching me in my private parts." -- Francisco Elson, on Kevin Garnett hitting him in the "groin" during Game Four.

He basically said this:

"They told me I was gonna be drafted, and I was like, 'Word?', and they said, "You're gonna go fifth, you'll be playing for the Timberwolves," and I was like 'Oh......................word?'"

The eloquence of Kevin Garnett.

the way you keep wiggling your fingers free from that straight-jacket to log on-------borders phenomena...

on being asked his feelings on opening the season against Seattle in Japan.



-------
"It's not how you start, it's how you finish, cat daddy," -AI

The reply from someone on these boards was even better

"the Man was Being Honest what is He suppose to say?that is His Choice.He said He doesn't like the Food.I heard about Many of the USA Soliders getting excited about seeing a MCDonalds&that it made them feel somewhat close to Home."





-------
"It's not how you start, it's how you finish, cat daddy," -AI

Looks like maxx with the grammar and punctuation, but I can't recall. I thought it was someone else. Drawin a blank right now, though.

-------
"It's not how you start, it's how you finish, cat daddy," -AI

2004 Inductee - OkaySports Hall of Fame

2004 College Blowhards Fantasy Football Champion

I see one damn thread in the archives!! What am I missing?

"Why would I want to help them win a title? They're not doing anything for me. I've got a lot at risk here. I've got my family to feed." - Latrell Spreewell

What crazy crap was he spewing when he kept going up the alphabet for a new nickname? And dont forget the curse of the 'Shaquino'.

"IT'S SPINAL" - IRON MIKE

Mike- "Yeah, I broke my back. It's spinal."

"I don't know. I might just go away and disappear into Bolivian"

or something like that

and of course there's "Lennox Lewis, I'll eat his heart. I wanna eat his children. I'm Alexander the Great..."

Tyson might be the king of this post.

That was his response to a reporter who asked him a question about fans being robbed after a short fight.. It was classic!

Tyson is marvelous....


“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

virginia football player about his KO return for a TD

LMAO........


“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

Shaq was playing against A.C. Green, the oldest virgin in the NBA, his rookie year.

Green was getting the best of him during a game, and he turns to Shaq and tells him, "You'll be alright once you get some more experience".

Shaq looks at him and tells him "And you'll be alright once you get some experience...... in bed"


2004 Inductee - OkaySports Hall of Fame

2004 College Blowhards Fantasy Football Champion

Shaq dunks on A.C. and growls. A.C. is floored. When he gets up, Shaq tells him "That was better than sex. Oh sorry, you don't know anything about that."
****************************************************
Avy: The Brown Bomber

...except college and the NBA."

-The Diesel

Right up there with "C U Next Tuesday" for classic Paul Silas quotes.

Kobe. You can read it again in the sig.

I thought that was a "paraphrased" joke? I read the report but didn't remember seeing that line in there. If it's real, damn.

Jose Canseco, responding on Sporting News Radio to 1988 A.L. MVP runner-up Mike Greenwell's suggestion that the trophy should belong to him.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse Roberts: She googled your ass.

Dr. Kelso: Don't you use your street lingo on me!

Dad said, when he found your Drag-queen outfit box, hid in you guy's cellar...right?

Jerome James on Nate McMillan calling some of the guys on the Sonics selfish, "I don't know who he could be talking about because the only person Jerome James worries about is Jerome James".

Rickey Henderson's response to the SI article where Ken Caminiti said 50 percent of major league players were on steroids.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Nurse Roberts: She googled your ass.

Dr. Kelso: Don't you use your street lingo on me!

------------------------------

“The Negro pays for what he wants and begs for what he needs.” -Kelly Miller

I remember this one, and I can't believe he didn't refer to himself in the third person, that would have made it even better.

Last season (2000), while with the Seattle Mariners, Henderson asked teammate John Olerud why he wore a batting helmet while playing first base. Olerud explained he had an aneurysm years ago and wore the helmet for protection. Henderson said that was interesting, because a former teammate of his with the Mets had done the same thing. That former teammate was Olerud.

The second story is one told by Gwynn and Dave Stewart, whose friendship with Henderson dates back to playing on youth teams in Oakland. Henderson was in his first go-round with San Diego, in 1996. He got on the team bus and asked whether the players had assigned seats. Outfielder Steve Finley yelled to Henderson, "Rickey, you can sit anywhere you want. You've got tenure." Responded Henderson: "Ten years? What are you talking about? Rickey got 16, 17 years." "He was as serious as a heart attack," Gwynn says. "The bus erupted. We laughed for 10 minutes."

Actually, while the Olerud story is f-ing hilarious, it never happened. Olerud saidit was a joke some of the guys on Seattle came up with. But it sure as hell sounds like something Rickey would say...

I remember that Rickey Henderson article, there were some great qoutes.


While your here, download a few choice cuts from my free mixtape
http://www.mrwizworld.com/08-Mr_Wiz-I_Knew.mp3
http://www.mrwizworld.com/15-Mr_Wiz-Nugga_Please.mp3
the whole thing free, here
http://www.mrwizworld.com/Mr_Wizards_World_pt.1.zip

the SI profile of rickey from a few years ago stands out as the best personality profile i've ever read about a major athlete, maybe of anyone.

he always referred to Glenn as a girl

...but we spend a lot too."

I think it was Donyell Marshall who said this.

he's got so many

Mike has made some of the best soundbytes EVER!!!

“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

Dan Issels crazy azz...

that had me in stitches.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Good things come in slim packages.

I like kids, I just don't like chicks who have em.

"K fleezy, K flizzle, K flza, K flowdo smoke, Key Fleez"-- speaks in slang

"Love isn't love untill you've given it away." © com

He said it half slurred w/ such conviction.


“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

"To live like I ain't never lived before,"

"If y'all see me in the news, and I make the news for something that I ain't got no business making it for, don't bash me. Say it was a young guy living."


Man I love this quote here. To hear him say it was hilarious!

That had me cracking up.

That was great. Answering questions with that where it made no sense. Rasheed is the only Tarheel I like.

"I'm glad that Wang Chung is playing over here now... but I want
our plane and our prisoners back. It's amazing they allow him to play over here, but they still have our plane." – Charles Barkley

New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:"I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."

Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John
Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earings."

Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining
to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."

Bill Walton: “John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization!”
Tom: “Wow, that’s a pretty strong statement. I guess I don’t have a good handle on world history.”
Bill: “Well Tom, that’s because you didn’t go to UCLA.”

finally the legendary Michael Tyson:

“ called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse.’ I’m not a recluse.”

"My main objective is to be professional but to kill him."

"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."

“I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to experience waking up everyday as me. And only then will you feel my pain.”

"It's no doubt I am going to win this fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want to, you know."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."

i need to compile a list of the best quotes from athletes


"everybody gets hated on. a nigga on this board hated on me because I hated him for hatin!" -- Darryl Reeves

At first I cried cause these Tyson quotes are hilarious and then I think about them and realise how sad they really are.

>"I'm glad that Wang Chung is playing over here now... but I
>want
>our plane and our prisoners back. It's amazing they allow him
>to play over here, but they still have our plane." – Charles
>Barkley
-----
>
>Bill Walton: “John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not
>just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of
>Western Civilization!”
>Tom: “Wow, that’s a pretty strong statement. I guess I don’t
>have a good handle on world history.”
>Bill: “Well Tom, that’s because you didn’t go to UCLA.”
>
>finally the legendary Michael Tyson:
-----
>"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel his
>muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these
>mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
-----
> "It's no doubt I am going to win this
>fight and I feel confident about winning this fight. I
>normally don't do interviews with women unless I fornicate
>with them. So you shouldn't talk anymore... Unless you want
>to, you know."
-----
>"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I
>don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I
>put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been
>on that camera since I was 13 years old."

that Bill Walton one is really fucking golden.

Don't talk about.....playoffs!? Are you kidding me? Playoffs? I just hope we can win a game!" - Jim Mora

"We couldn't do diddly poo out there" - Jim Mora

"We sucked. Our offense sucked. Our defense sucked. We sucked" - Jim Mora. I don't remember the exact quote but he kept using the word "sucked".

Barkley: The Kings need Tito Hurkoglu to step up and make some shots.
Kenny: Hedo Turkoglu.
Barkley: Whatever his name is.

karl malone on being drafted by the jazz.

"when your outgo exceeds your income, your upkeep becomes your downfall." - edgerrin james

hes got a point though...

We couldn't do diddly-pooh offensively. We couldn't make a first down. We didn't run the ball. We didn't try to run the ball. We couldn't complete a pass. We sucked. We sucked. It was a horseass performance in the second half. Horseass!"

and the refs wanna fuck it up!

Shaq, were live!

I don't give a shit!

...Rasheed Wallace about George Dubya Bush.

"How do guys get hot?

I dunno

Guys get hot.

How do I know how guys get hot?" --

Gregg Popovich in an after game , answering Craig Sager's questions as to why the opposing team's players got hot..

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like a infantile retard."

"Lennox Lewis, I'm coming for you man. My style is impetuous. My defense is impregnable, and I'm just ferocious. I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!"

"I felt Holyfield was using his head illegally. I told the referee I wasn't getting any help, so I went back to the streets. I cannot defend it, but it happened."

"I could have knocked him out in the third round but I wanted to do it slowly, so he would remember this night for a long time."

"You're sweet. I'm going to make sure you kiss me good with those big lips. I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."

"Anyone with a grain of sense would know that if I punched my wife I would rip her head off. It's all lies. I have never laid a finger on her."

"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was 1 big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."

"I try to catch him right on the tip of the nose, because I try to push the bone into the brain."

"How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills? It makes me angry. They're just as good as dead."

"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."

"The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone's not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate in."

"There's no one perfect. We're always gonna do that. Jimmy Swaggart is lascivious, Mike Tyson is lascivious -- but we're not criminally, at least I'm not, criminally lascivious. You know what I mean. I may like to fornicate more than other people -- it's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? I mean, I been robbed of my most of my money, can I at least get without the people wanting to harass me and wanting to throw me in jail?"

"At times, I come across as crude or crass, that irritates you when I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see."

"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."

"I like the British bikes. I like British people. They're real mellow."

"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass."

"I just want to conquer people and their souls."

ex-Mets pitcher, when asked what he'd be doing if he wasn't selected to be on the Mets' playoff roster
"I guess I'll be sitting in the stands, having a beer, and yelling 'Put Yoshii in!' "

i had never heard that before! LMAO

I miss that guy. Him and Rick Reed were the shit.

That was awesome. His faces were clutch.

Mike Tyson, ad libbing while singing a karaoke verion of Smokey and the Miracles "ooh, baby baby" to actress Ali Landry during his stint as guest co-host of Jimmy Kimmel Live (aka the funniest week in tv history)

Early before a game at the old Vet, he was walking around the outfield near the bullpens.

A lot of young kids are there early and whatnot, and a mother and son see Kruk walking in the outfield and smoking a cigarette. The woman yells at the Krukker saying how he is an athlete and a role model and how there are kids out here seeing him smoke, and Kruk's response is:

"Lady, I'm not an athlete. I'm a baseball player."

Classic.

Apparently he was showering in the morning, and he saw a deer out the bathroom window, so he grabbed his rifle (which apparently was already in the bathroom) and shot the fucking deer!

I pray that this story is true.

i'm sure it's true

oh and they have (or used to at least) a BIG "welcome to keyser, the home of MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL STAR JOHN KRUK!!!!" sign. it's awesome.

- = - = - = -

free mac mini:

http://www.FreeMiniMacs.com/?r=15742227

lmao

When Bill Parcells was still Coaching the Patriots, he was doing a post-game press conferance, and no one was asking him anything, so he just busted out with "well I'm not a male model anymore".

Arsenio asked Mike about being in the same Olympics with the great Russian weigh lifter Visali Alexia (sp?)....Arsenio asked him would Alexia have been a good fighter.... Michael Spinks said, "No. He's not a punch taker."

lololol.

That one's special for BasagliXXX

LMAO


The Game Changes, But The Rules Remain The Same.

"It stinks and it suck and it stinks."

I was so excited when they first hired him too.

they was askin him soemthin bout was the team really tryna win or some shit like that.

i forget exactlly what he said but i rember that it was classic to me at the time
************************************************************

HELLO!

Welcome to the NFL, Cadillac.

Whoops

up

"...It's easy to talk trash when you up 30...talk when the game is on the line, and you gotta take the big shot, talk then and we'll see where ya NUTS is at..." (In reference to a playoff game vs. the Charlotte Hornets)

I think it was three or four years ago, Al was interviewing Jimmy Johnson on his yacht and Jerry Jones came up.

He said something like, "Michael Jackson, uh, I mean Jerry Jones is doing well." I can't remember the exact quote but calling out Jones for getting some plastic surgery done.

I remember thinking that Jimmy was pretty gangsta for that.

The second one, Lavar Arrington, "This is my chess room." I was over a friend's apt. I started dying. After Simmons put it in a column, everybody thought it was funny.

Plus the way he pushed his kids around wasn't really funny, more disturbing but I still laughed

Fuzzy Zoeller on Tiger Woods choosing the Masters dinner menu.

"Tell him not to serve fried chicken next year ... or collard greens, or whatever the hell they serve."

"anyone got somethin' to smoke on?" - johnny damon after he thought the microphones were off during a post-game interview

"yeah, that was a huge play. that's just who i am. i make huge plays and i also have huge balls." - kenyon martin

"when you're as good as me, the shits you take in the morning are potential first-round draft picks." - michael jordan



oh wait i made all of those up

- = - = - = -

free mac mini:

http://www.FreeMiniMacs.com/?r=15742227

After getting caught doing 108 on his motorcycle.

"Playoff basketball you don't play in skirts,'' McMillan said Sunday before Game 4 at Arco Arena. "We're playing within the rules of the game. We're not doing anything we haven't done all season long.''



Coach Mac's questionable semantics in regard to Adelman's whining about officiating. Anytime a team OTHER than the Sonics whines about the refs, I'm happy.

,

(c) Danny Fortson

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/basketball/222490_sbar02.html

*bitch, bitch, bitch*

That was hilarious

I was just repeating this quote the other day.

“lyrics unravel, faster than bullets travel thru barrels...
ngaz be diggin my style like fossils of pterodactyls...” © Canibus

"limited edition, composition spark friction...
non-fiction, the calm bomb, keep ya arm distance..." © Rebel I

"I'll probably get fined, but white socks have been killing us, man. I had to go out and change
my outfit. if you're not looking sweet, you really can't play too sweet."

waiting nine months for that baby to come. And boy, did that baby come. And she was a big one wonn't she? All you doubters, I've got room on the bandwagon."

LOL!!

A court is like a scene, people want to see attractive people.
Anna Kournikova

I'm mainstream. Always have been.
Bill Walton

resident okayidiot Basaglia.

That still cracks me up

Shaq on Nash winning MVP 2005



I was disturbed by this though

http://www.canada.com/sports/basketball/story.html?id=000c2eaa-41d7-4620-8c0d-0512a2a46dea

They can also grasp the fact Nash is only (maybe) six foot three.
"Shaq's seven feet, 300 pounds," added Rautins. "How many of us can identify with that? I told the kids, if Steve walked in here, outside of the hair, you wouldn't recognize him. Yet he's the MVP of the NBA."