and even personally knowing so many super fans of his, following his career closely, watching how big his retirement tour was, I still feel like I didn't truly grasp just how huge Kobe was until Sunday.

Part of it could be i was in my 20s when Kobe entered the league, and Magic and Jordan were my childhood icons. I still watched way more games during Kobe's career than back then. Made me realize just how much his name comes up in damn near every NBA conversation I have with friends. Friends and I were talking about him on Saturday night. Still I'm even surprised by my own reaction and how personally fucked up i am over this. There really has never been a celebrity death that has come close to this on a personal level.

Also, since he's such a public figure there are so many clips of him and Ginanna hanging out, they were clearly so close and such good buddies that part of me is almost glad they went together to spare each other the pain of losing the other.