very uneasy. Like on one hand I was excited to on hand for something historic, even under such sad circumstances, but on the other hand it seemed like it would be harrowing to have to talk about it with all these guys. i was in medellin when the chapecoense crash happened and went to the memorial, i also worked the story a bit but never had to talk to any victims. there were a couple guys i knew personally on the yaroslav plane that went down. obviously some guys you think will never die, but they do, like wilt and gordie howe. but this just seems ... different. i dunno. i guess there will be kind of a buffer between the accident and the portland game, but it feels like not enough of one.