you can talk to so many people and find out the most terrifying thing for people about finding out their loved one was murdered is usually the worry that they were put through great distress and anguish at the hands of someone else for no good reason

finding out it was a flash unexpected bullet to the head doesn't stop the grief, but its FAR WORSE to find out they were cheered at while sitting on a spike and then had their head sawed off.

when someone is killed (murder or accident) people ALWAYS ask "did they suffer" -- because, your love for them is majorly concerned about their anguish. and most people DO take comfort in knowing/thinking/believing their loved one died quickly without too much fear.