Firstly, no comment on what bshelly said about Kareem, except "don't watch me, watch tv" (c) Juelz.


>Keep in mind in head to head. Kareem is a rookie, so this
>wasnt even his peak. But then size wise, Kareem (already the
>leagues most consistent low post scorer ever had 5 inches of
>height on Willis. And then we still havent gotten into the
>development of his sky hook yet. Willis was a good talent who
>played hard and made the most of his abilities. Kareem was a
>next world type of talent. At the time he was NYC's most
>fabled player, and later became one of the greatest college
>centers ever at UCLA, and ALWAYS lived up to all the hype he
>got.

I just wanna say that I'm not certain those Kareem goggles are really above the belt when the street fight starts. I mean, I guess if Willis can bust him a good one in his eye he might make the things splinter and blind ol' boy, but he might also just fuck his hand up and have the blow glance off. Either way I'd say that silly goggles are NOT what's hot in the street, but whatever, I've already said Kareem is taking this match-up in a walk. I mean dude is in part responsible for Airplane!, that's pretty unfuckwittable.

>pf vs pf-
>Now this is a bit trickier...Both kemp and Worm matched up in
>real life during their careers. As Athletic as Kemp was, he
>was sometimes soft/lacking heart, and having a guy like rodman
>there to constantly be in his head will take him out of his
>game. If im not mistaken, by Kemp's peak years he already had
>multiple children out of wedlock, Trust the worm would be
>there to remind him. Kemp my try to call worm a "faggot" but
>the beauty of worm is he could give a fuck what you call him.
>And if theres one guy whos athleticism/heart could matchup
>with Kemp, it was Rodman. i dont think anyone can deny what an
>incredible athlete Worm was. He was strong enough to battle
>with kemp inside, and agile enough to challenge his ugly
>jumpshot.

Like I said, Shawn Kemp lives to do one thing, and one thing only, and that's dunk the basketball. To help fuel his hunger we intend to keep him away from any and all rims for at least a month prior to the match-up, meaning he's gonna be fiending to throw the ball through the hole come tip-off. Anybody getting in his way is in trouble.

Admittedly, this strategy might backfire as Kemp just starts eating a few pounds of ribs every day, doing tons of blow, and fathering 15-20 kids on the side, but we're willing to take our chances.

>sf vs sf-Larry Bird vs Pippen. This matchup I will focus more
>on the defensive end because Bird was no doubt an offensive
>juggernaut. They never really faced in both of their primes,
>but If theres one dude who could contain Bird in the NBA of
>that era it would be Pippen. Pippen had teh athleticism and
>long arms to frustrate bird and challenge his jumpshot.
>Inside, he was just as strong, and definitely a smart player.
>The only thing id tell pipp was to watch for headfakes and not
>to get caught up in foul trouble. On the other end of the
>floor Pippen would be to quick for bird. At times I would have
>Pippen handle the ball so that bird could chase him around and
>this would help wear out Bird's legs.

Larry Legend is unstoppable. If need be, we'll quietly ask the Sports Guy to sneak into the opposing locker room with his press pass and slip some laxative (or maybe worse) into Pip's drink, because even though it would mean throwing the Sports Guy's career and reputation away, I think it's safe to assume his man-crush on Bird and everything Boston would easily inspire him to do the deed all the same.

Not only would this save Bird from Pippen, it would save OKP from the stupid weekly Sports Guys posts. This is really a win-win all around.

>sg vs sg-D. Wade vs Tayshaun Prince. This is the matchup we
>have the privilege of seeing. I dont know what coach Shelly
>was thinking. maybe he thought I had Kobe instead of Wade. BUt
>wade always frustrates tayshaun. In a matchup earlier this
>year, Tay even questioned why flip saunders left him on wade
>when it obviously wasnt working (ask Pistons fan JBoogs). Wade
>is too explosive for Tay and his change of direction breaks
>Tay's stilty legs. On defense They will try and post Tay
>up..but hey if you have bird, reed and kemp and you settle for
>a Tay post up, Ill take it everytime.

"Long Arm of the Law" >>>>> "Flash" and I really like the Flash nickname.

Otherwise, no comment.

>pg vs pg-Now this was a matchup i contemplated, I almost
>started Ron Ron and let wade play pg. for this game....because
>of Nash's perceived defensive deficiencies, but then i was
>like nah. Kidd is gonna create for his team, but he is not a
>scorer. Im sure shelly will try to refer to this recent
>nets/suns game, but throughout their careers, they have been
>pretty evenly matched. If kidd beats any of my guys, I have
>the best defenders PIPPEN, Rodman and 11 time all defensive
>team KAreem to Come ove rto help. IMO nash is not the worst
>defender you can have, He is smart and knows where to push his
>man. It just so happens that the last 2 teams he has played
>for havent had teh best defensive philosophy (see suns when
>nashis oput or dallas when nash left). Cats like steve francis
>and marbury get burned by other pgs all the time too. On
>offense, nash is gonna create havoc by driving to the hoop and
>finding people. Kidd is a good defender, but he cant stay in
>front of nash all the time. Hey if Nash has any problems, I
>put Wade in at PG, Pippen at Sf and Artest in at SG. And we
>grind it out

Let's take a moment to remember a one-time All-Star, a multiple Finals competitor, a once hot-commodity in the NBA by the name of Kenyon Martin. Remember that guy? The guy with the big contract, shit game, shitty numbers, and an even shittier nickname (I mean, KMart?) that Denver is now stuck with? Yeah, Jason Kidd did that. You're welcome Denver.

>At some point I will have Dale ellis in, when Nash breaks down
>the D, Dale one of the best shooters ever will be there to hit
>the shot.

Unless the Rifleman brings his actual gun to the game, he's getting murked first thing. Vlade Divac, Paul Silas, or Tayshaun could all handle that kid. Non-issue.

>Oh wait I still have Ralph Sampson, who before he was injured
>was a beast. In his prime years he avgds 20, 10 and 2 with
>about 2 blocks and despite his 7'4 height he had the ability
>to play 4. So if I want to run up the score, I put Sampson in
>at 4, and have him score over Kemp who isnt exactly known as a
>defensive juggernaut.

Like I said, Vlade is obviously not above doing dirt. He's going for Sampson's knees first thing and we can all guess how that might turn out. Those things fucked themselves up, didn't even need any help really, imagine what they'll do with a little push in the wrong direction.

>Overall, the game plan is to take what is given. I have some
>of teh smartest most unselfish players in basketball history.
>Yea Rodman and Artest might be crazy, but they know how to
>play unselfish basketball. Sometimes worm was too unselfish.

It's true, the Worm was WAAAAY too unselfish when he gave us these:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0119013/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0168172/
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0211792/

I really wish he had kept them to himself. I really do. Has anyone else here seen "Cutaway"? I mean, MY GOD that movie sucks. It stars Stephen Baldwin people. The Worm couldn't even out-star-power the lowest of the lowly fucking Baldwins. Losing to a Baldwin = losing at life, man. Let's be real.

>Defensively we are one of the toughest teams, and nobody is
>gonna call this team soft.
>We will make every shot hard to come by and we will also getin
>your heads.

Wait, hold on, I'm gonna do it ... YOU'RE TEAM IS SOFT. That's right, the Boston Strangler, Vlade "The Big Dirty" Divac, Paul "Can't Hide the Bitchinyoo" Silas, Jason "Slap-Happy" Kidd, the Long Arm of the Law, Larry Legend, and Shawn Motherfuckin' Kemp will have no problems here. I recognize Artest is gully (I mean, he did choose #93 for the Souls of Mischief -- respect) but outside of Ron Ron and the Cap this team is getting lit the fuck up. Again, Rodman played second fiddle to Stephen Baldwin. I wish I could forget it, too, but those are the facts.